Have you started your Christmas cards yet?
I've been reading a diary kept by an elderly woman during this era and, in 1941, she sent no less than 70 Christmas cards to her circle of family and friends. 70 Christmas cards! Just the thought makes my hand cramp up. I don't think I've ever sent or received more than 20 in my heyday. The author of the diary ordered her cards on November 8 from a woman selling them as a fundraiser for her church. The cards arrived on November 24, but it wasn't until December 5 - two days before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor - that the author of the diary began "writing" her Christmas cards.
I'm feeling inspired to send my own Christmas cards again this season. It's been years since I sent more than just a few. Feeling the pricks of vintage spirit, I picked up a couple boxes last weekend. A darling sky blue card featuring a tiny red cardinal perched on a snow-covered tree branch - with just a touch of glitter in the snow and on the cardinal's wing. "happy holidays to you and yours" it reads on the front cover. "Wishing you all the best this holiday season!" on the inside. (I like printed greetings that are fairly ambiguous like that --- leaves me room to write things like "Merry Christmas" and "Happy New Year" without looking redundant.)
But wait! Are store-bought Christmas cards proper form? I'd better check in with Lily Haxworth Wallace and The New American Etiquette (1941):
The greeting card industry is growing very rapidly and the increasing use of these cards signifies that for the commemoration of holidays and holy days they are correct... the biggest card day in the entire yearly cycle is Christmas, the time when almost everybody remembers almost everybody else.
It is, as is stated above, correct to send cards which are purchased ready-made at the stationer. It is also proper to have cards especially engraved for those occasions when you are going to send out many. It is not necessary that you confine yourself to black and white. Colors appropriate to the season can be used in both the tint of the paper and in the ink used for engraving and writing.
Phew! Okay, I think I'm covered. If you're planning on purchasing engraved Christmas cards this season, here's some advice on the greeting:
A married couple's cards would always read, "Mr. and Mrs. John Carter Jones wish you a very Merry Christmas." They should never be engraved, "A very Merry Christmas from Mrs. and Mrs. John Carter Jones." If the name comes last, it is in the place of a signature in which such titles are never proper.
She adds:
It is quite incorrect to write messages other than the greeting itself on these cards.
Hey, now. That's music to my ears. I could whip these things off in no time. And yet --- no hand-written messages at all? I wonder when things shifted and omitting a hand-written message - even just a line or two - became a faux pas. At least, that's how my mom brought us up. If you're going to send anything at all, be sure it includes a personal note. She used to enclose school pictures of my sisters and me to most of the folks on her Christmas card list. Let's face it. I don't often correspond with any of my family and friends in writing - except on birthdays or other special occasions. If I'm going to take the time to do this right once a year, I may as well include a note. If I start tomorrow (Friday, December 4) and I aim to have them all in the mail by Saturday, December 19 --- 20 cards in 15 days, that's just one or two cards per day. I can do that!
Incidentally, Mrs. Cornelius Beeckman, an etiquette columnist for the St. Petersburg Times, roundly disagreed. In 1947, she wrote:
Naturally, it's completely correct and most charming and personal it is too, for you to take your pen in hand and sign your name on your Christmas cards . . . and for good measure add a high-hearted message or news-greeting to the printed message on the card. There's something so welcoming about the handwriting of a friend that our hearts leap up when we behold it, and it seems to enfold the message in a warm, friendly handclasp.
On to the signature... Mrs. Beeckman advised her readers in 1940 that the signature - whether engraved, printed, or hand-written - should appear in one of the following forms:
Mary and John Holiday
Mary and John
The John Holidays
Ms. Wallace agrees that the wife's name quite properly appears before the husband's. She's usually the one signing the cards after all:
In signing greeting cards purchased at the store either the husband's or wife's name may come first, the one who signs usually writing the other's name before her own. If they are signed with the titles "Mr. and Mrs." those words, of course, go in that order.
Any children in the home? According to Mrs. Beeckman, they may also be included in the signature:
However when children's names are included in the signature, the father's name always comes first: John and Mary and Baby, or John and Mary and Johnnie, or The Holidays - John, Mary, Johnnie, Polly, and Bob.
An anonymous women's page columnist for the [St. Petersburg, Florida] Evening Independent offered some advice in 1943 for couples separated by the war:
If you are sending out Christmas cards and your husband is not at home on furlough at the time, but you know that he would like to his wishes extended along with yours, you might add a simple note to the greeting saying "John's wishes are included with mine, and we hope to see you when next he is home on furlough."
16 comments:
The sending and receiving of Christmas cards has always been one of my favourite parts of the holiday! Though there are many who have tried to do away with this lovely gesture, along with the art of letter writing in general, I have noticed a resurgence in the sending out of holiday cards. In our quest to modernize every aspect of our society, we do away with so many of the simple joys life holds, like finding a beautiful Christmas card in your mailbox, inscribed with a hearfelt note of Christmas cheer from a friend or family member, regardless of whether they live across the country or across the street. I just finished sending out my cards for the season and I am sure you will have your cards written and ready for the post before you know it!
As always, fabulous (and very informative)post!
Lily, you're an early bird with those cards!!! I'm going to pick up some Christmas stamps tomorrow so I can mail each card out as soon as I finish it. I agree, nothing better than seeing real mail in your mailbox. I love how Mrs. Beeckman expressed the joy of seeing the familiar handwriting of a loved one. That can never be replaced by a pre-printed signature.
I don't know about any of you, but if I get a card from someone I haven't heard from in ages and there is only a signature, well, my feelings are hurt.
Lovely, timely post. Thank you.
No, I haven't started the cards. Sigh.
I had gotten away from sending Christmas cards in recent years, and for a very petty reason: I noticed that the only time I received cards from family was if I had sent them one first, and theirs to me was just a polite, obligatory response. If I didn't send them one, I wouldn't get one from them. Well, my feelings were hurt so I stopped doing it all together. I know it shouldn't be about whether or not I get one back, but it'd be nice to feel as if I were important enough to them that they'd think of sending me one regardless....oh well. I just may send them out anyway this year and try not to worry about the rest!
Regarding including a personal message....anyone know when sending the Christmas "family newsletter" started coming in vogue?
Packrat, I agree. Which makes it equally important that I enclose a personal note for the folks I don't talk or email with regularly.
Gingerella, maybe some of those people ought to be weeded from your list! Though it's hard with family. You really want to keep those bonds as alive as possible the older your get. Doesn't it seem like as families get older and more spread apart that certain people end up being the ones who keep everybody "together," so to speak. Maybe you're just going to be that kind of person for your clan!
I remember when we used to send nearly 80 cards each year. It was quite an event - picking the cards - addressing and signing and always we included one of those chatty newsletters about our year. Some say the letter is bad taste - others say it is almost required. I love getting them from others so we still send one - though our list has gotten smaller over the years - not so many aunts and uncles and grandparents and such - but still fun.
Happy cards!!
Gingerella, I bet those family newsletters have been around for awhile --- they probably took off though when people started having home computers/printers in the '90s.
Piecefulafternoon, maybe I need to create some sort of ritual around putting my Christmas cards together. Some special music I listen to while I work on them, a yummy candle, Christmas lights lit up. That might help. (I'm trying hard NOT to think of a snack that might help!)
Most of the cards I get these days are the photo cards with a simple signature - which are always fun to see --- but I miss the personal greetings. :(
Timely post! I haven't sent out Christmas cards for years, but I just put together my list, gathered the addresses, and picked up a box of cards to start with. For some reason I got a bee in my bonnet that I want to send cards out this year. I like your idea in a comment about making a ritual of it, playing special music or something. Sounds a great idea.
I have already sent out my cards. Maybe you could enjoy a cup of cocoa. (I think Swiss Miss might have one with less sugar?)
I was like Gingerella I would get upset with some relatives who never returned a card. I guess we can tell ourselves "it is more fun to give than receive."
Everyday I run to the mailbox and look for a card. I still get joy from it.
Another early bird!!!
Jacran, I will think of you over the weekend as I try to get the first batch of cards under my belt. I wish it didn't feel like such hard work!
I send out about 20 each year. Is it bad that I get disappointed that I only receive a handful back? I should not be that way as it gives me joy to send them out.
Those are interesting tips tough!
LPM
I have a Christmas card date with a friend every year. We get together once a month all year but our November date is just for doing our Christmas cards. I used to be very hit or miss, sometimes not getting cards in the mail until the 23rd but now it's easy and fun to do them. I'm about 80/20 on the hand written messages. Mostly not but there are a few people who I don't see often who get a short note.
Great post, as always.
Jitterbug, it's interesting that you say that about being the one to keep the family together, as I've sort of become the keeper of our family genealogy, even created a family website devoted to it and have tried to get the rest of the family to actively participate. No one has any interest in it...pity. Their loss, right?
Jitterbug, please pardon my butting in. I couldn't find Gingerella's email address to contact her directly.
Note to Gingerella - please do your genealogy for your own satisfaction. Let everyone else "go pound tar". :)
lpm, not bad --- just human nature! You're not alone, if that helps. :)
Heather, that's a fabulous idea!!!
Gingerella, sounds like you're that kinda person, alright! Some people never have any interest in their family history, but a lot of people come to have that interest in their own time. Sometimes after the death of a parent or grandparent. Sometimes when they have kids of their own. You may find your family members feeling very grateful one day that you've kept the flame alive... For now, like Packrat says, do it for your own satisfaction!
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