Hello There...

Hello there, dear readers... It's Jitterbug - crawling out of the cave where she's been licking her wounds to check in with the world.

It's been a long few weeks since I last posted. The virus never resulted in dehydration, but shortly after my last post the symptoms morphed into something I thought was a bacterial infection. It actually turned out to have been an ovarian cyst which has since ruptured. Several doctors' visits + 1 CT scan + 2 courses of antibiotics + 1 ultrasound + lots of Vicodin later, I'm finally starting to feel like a human being again.

If there's anything good that's come out this, it's that I've realized how much my life before The Experiment resembled a sick person's. I had been physically healthy for years. My ulcerative colitis had been in remission for five years, yet I was still living the existence of somebody mired in illness. Buying supplies as they occurred to me. Eating catch as catch can. Opening my mail once a month or so. Clueless about how much money I had or where it was going. Moving in a fog from bed to work and back to bed again. I was forced to live like this for the past few weeks --- and it appalls me that I lost half a decade of my life to that lifestyle by choice. It was one thing during the years that I was actually dealing with illness and surgeries. Another thing entirely when the surgeries were over and my body was physically in good order. That's the toll that depression can take on somebody.

Oh, yes --- here's one more good thing. I was stuck at home so much during the last few weeks I got to watch season two of The Tudors. Drama-licious! Especially the finale. I'd never have thought I'd be weeping for the woman who got beheaded when I cheering for it one episode earlier. (Okay, the Vicodin may have been partially responsible for my mood swings.) I'm waiting for season one now so I can see what happened first. If you're on the lookout for a guilty pleasure, The Tudors might just fit the bill. And, hey, it's history. Educational, right?

So, I'm picking up the pieces. I'm not entirely comfortable yet and have two more tests to look forward to, but I want my life back. My biggest goal today is to get outdoors and walk. Slowly. 30 minutes at the park. It will have been the first time in three weeks that I've done a lick of exercise. And I'd like to slowly pick some things up around the house and start a shopping list for things I'll need from the grocery store this weekend. No heavy-duty cleaning, no stretching/toning --- just a little something normal. I promise I'll check in again soon...

55 + 1 = 56... and Advancement

Advancement - 15-20 per cent of income.

The title to this category caught me off-guard at first. What could they mean by "advancement"? Here's the scoop:

Now for another main heading of our budget - advancement or development. Under this heading come health, recreation, pocket money, personal care, automobile expenses, gifts, contributions and education.

Okay, I get it. The "pattern" budget includes separate columns for both "health" and "automobile expenses" - acknowledging that these items probably make up the lion's share of expenses related to advancement. This is such a wide-ranging category it's going to be tough for me to come up with any kind of estimate as to what I'm spending, but I'll give it a shot.

Under health we list medical and dental care and drugs. Regular visits to your physician and dentist are cheaper than emergency measures necessitated by neglect. The Chinese pay their doctors to keep them well, and this seems to be the best idea of all. Hospital insurance, costing two to three pennies a day, is a wise investment for every family, even though they may never need it. And meeting bills caused by illness, through membership in an insurance association, is a method which is now becoming available.

Thankfully, in 2010, I can count on more than just "hospital insurance" - as long as I'm employed at my current job, that is. I spend $73.70 per month on medical, dental, and vision insurance premiums + $39.16 per month on long- and short-term disability premiums. During the past month, I've also spent $70.00 on co-pays. As near as I can figure, I've spent $35.58 on medication and vitamins during the past month. Though my premiums are steady from month to month, these last two figures will always vary. My total spending on health during the past month is somewhere in the neighborhood of $218.44.

Monthly automobile expenses include my car payment ($210.14) and car insurance ($60.17). I've only spent $26.33 on gas during the past month, but I'd better deduct from that the $18.63 I estimate spending on gas for my commute to work during the past month. (That falls under the "shelter" category in my vintage budget.) That leaves $7.70 spent on gas for non-commuting travel. I haven't had any maintenance or repairs this month, so my costs are definitely on the low side. My total spending on automobile expenses during the past month is about $278.01.

Recreation almost deserves to be listed under health, so essential is it to well-being and happiness. It is not at all necessary to be extravagant in order to have fun, but neither is it wise to be stingy to the point of starvation.

Sadly, I can't think of anything I've purchased during the past month that truly counts as recreation. Something to think about...

Magazines, newspapers, books and circulating-library fees all come under the head of education, as do fees for professional associations, school expenses, etc.

Nope, nothing here. I don't have any magazine or newspaper subscriptions. I rarely buy books, and the libraries I visit don't charge any circulating fees - unless you're late! I don't have any expenditures to chalk up to education during the past month.

What's left? Personal care --- here's where beauty products, haircare, and other toiletries come in ($63.24 during the past month). I've spent $10.79 during the past month on gifts and $11.00 on contributions. The one item I haven't really been able to categorize, but seems to fall into the "advancement" area, is a bouquet of tulips I bought last weekend for my desk at work. I guess I'll just have to consider that $12.95 as pocket money!

My total spending on "advancement" during the past month = 594.43 or 16% of my gross monthly income of $3666.67. I fall squarely into the 15-20% figure recommended by the authors of The Manual when it comes to this category. Next up: Savings.

PS: I weighed in at 138 this morning --- 1 lb. closer to my mini-goal of 134 by Saturday, February 20. All aboard! It's full steam ahead on the reducing train!!!

Let Them Eat Cake!

I've been struggling with the same 2 lbs. for about a month now... Weighed in at 147 - again - this morning. Could this be the dreaded plateau? Or is it just that my body's been through the wringer during the last few days and I'm retaining water? All I know is that I weighed in at 143 before going into surgery on Thursday. (It was a great moment!) I'm slowly but surely taking up my exercises again. The walking feels good, but I'm being extra careful with any of the stretches, etc. that involve my chest or arms. I indulged in a little bit of "comfort eating" on Thursday evening and Friday, so I'm trying to rein that in as well. I'm not beating myself up about it. These 2 lbs. may disappear just as quickly as they reappeared.

Otherwise, I seem to be healing normally. I'm still taking the ibuprofen and using cold compresses to keep the swelling down, but there doesn't seem to be any bruising yet at the site of the incision. And I don't look lopsided either! I was a little worried at the news that this mass was 2 cm. in diameter --- my breasts aren't big enough these days for 2 cm. to go unnoticed.

Hmmm. I wonder if there's a fun way to segue from breast size to oven temperatures...

I've been baking a cake this morning for my father's birthday. My folks arrived in town yesterday afternoon for the winter. I'm not sure they're feeling very festive - it hasn't yet been two weeks since we lost Nana - but I know they're relieved to be here and we'd like to mark the occasion in some way. It's not a fancy cake. I'd love to have had the energy to try some vintage cake and icing recipes. It's just a Betty Crocker mix for a butter pecan cake with some coconut pecan frosting. From a can. Eek! Sacrilege. I am baking it in a chiffon cake pan, though, and that's a very '40s shape.

The thing I wanted to say was that I noticed that the times and temperatures given on the back of the cake mix box are right on the money when it comes to my oven. Now this definitely isn't the case for me when it comes to vintage recipes. My oven always seems to run too hot for recipes from my 1945 cookbook. I invariably have to set the temperature about 25 degrees less than the vintage recipes instruct me to and remove whatever I'm baking from the oven about five minutes ahead of time --- or risk ending up with something burnt and dried out. I used to think it was my oven, but now I'm thinking that the ovens of yesteryear just weren't as well insulated as modern ovens. So they had to bake things at higher temperatures and for longer periods of time. That's my theory, anyway. Have any of you who regularly bake using recipes from this era found this to be the case?

Some of the fine ingredients that go into this sensational Betty Crocker Cake Mix can't be bought in stores. So a woman simply couldn't put them in her own cake! What's more, in her own kitchen, a woman can't duplicate the scientific measuring and blending of ingredients that go into the mix. And, remember, this isn't just a cake mix, it's a Betty Crocker Cake Mix!

Actually, cake mixes aren't entirely un-vintage. General Mills introduced three Betty Crocker cake mixes in 1948: GingerCake, Devil's Food, and PartyCake. The PartyCake mix could be used to bake a white cake, yellow cake, or spice cake - depending on whether you added egg whites, whole eggs, or spices to the mix. Cake mixes cost 35 to 37 cents per box - which translates to just over $3 today. With faith that science and new technologies could solve all problems, the post-war era was prime for the success of such products as cake mixes. What you and I know with hindsight is that no cake mix on the market beats the taste and texture of a cake made from scratch, but 60 years ago there was great hope that the cake mix would someday be perfected and produce a cake even better than that.

Cake mix or no cake mix, I'll be enjoying a very small portion myself!

Just a Quick Note

Just a quick note this morning to let y'all know that yesterday's lumpectomy went as well as possible. Despite some serious trouble beforehand getting a good vein for the IV - my hand and wrist are covered in bandages and bruises - the surgery lasted just 20 minutes. My surgeon felt quite confident that the cyst is just that, but they're sending it along to the lab for a biopsy. She's hoping I'll have my results before Thanksgiving! Wouldn't that be something to be thankful for.

I'm feeling well this morning. The heaviness of the anesthesia has left me. My breast is a little pink and swollen and needs an occasional ice pack. I haven't had to take any of the narcotics, though. Nothing but ibuprofen. So all's well on the home front.

Thank you all for your good wishes and warm thoughts throughout this ordeal! I couldn't have made it through without your support...

An Update from the Trenches

I guess it's time for an update from the trenches. I saw a breast surgeon on Tuesday and she tried to aspirate the cyst. "Tried" being the operative word. She couldn't get to it there in the office. Spent a whole lot of time injecting numbing medication and got a good look at the cyst on a sonogram machine, but decided in the end not to go any further. She was a little concerned, too, about the walls of the cyst being thicker than she'd like to see. So I'm headed into the hospital for a lumpectomy one of these Thursdays. It's outpatient surgery. They'll put me under general anesthesia, remove the cyst - if that's indeed what it is - and give it all the tests that need to be done.

So that's the latest. The only plus I can truly think of is that this particular cyst won't fill back up again and need to be re-aspirated in the future. This one will be gone for good. I'm still waiting to hear from the surgeon's office on scheduling the procedure, but am crossing my fingers we'll be able to do this on the 19th, maybe I might even have the results of the biopsy before Thanksgiving.

I've been off caffeine for two weeks now. Weekdays are not a problem. I drink decaf in the mornings and usually end the day with a cup of herbal tea. Weekends are another animal altogether! With my cozy, freshly-made bed right there and way too easy to curl up in, I'm having a hard time getting through my Saturdays and Sundays without a nap. Any ideas how long it takes for 15 years' worth of caffeine to work its way out of your body? I guess I can't expect it to happen overnight. I'm curious to know what it will feel like when I'm back to normal.

There's a lot of reading material out there about fibrocystic breasts. I've been trying to regain some sense of control by reading up to see if there are any proactive ways I can prevent the formation of cysts. Besides limiting/nixing caffeine - which everyone seems to recommend --- I've read that you should reduce your sugar intake and be sure that you're getting the recommended daily allowance of vitamin E, the B complex, and magnesium. So I've been reviewing what I get from my own multi-vitamin and discovered that I actually need to take the multi three times a day. Eeesh! I had a hard enough time getting used to taking vitamins every morning. I probably need to keep a supply at work so they're handy at lunchtime. Even taken three times per day, the magnesium is still lacking, so I've added a magnesium supplement to my morning vitamins.

That's all the scoop for now, dear readers. Hope y'all have a wonderful day! I'll catch up with you later...

"There's Good News Tonight!"

Just a quick post this evening to share the news from today's long-awaited tests...

My First Mammogram was a bit uncomfortable - particularly when they were taking views of the breast with the lump - but there were some views that didn't hurt at all. Strangely enough, I started blacking out about three views in, so the technician sat me right down and had me put my head between my knees while she got some apple juice for me. "First timer," she said quietly to somebody on the other side of the door. I'm not sure what that episode was all about. Pure fear or all that breath-holding stuff.

The ultrasound was much easier. Both technicians were very kind. The radiologist came into the room at the end of the ultrasound. She had already started reviewing my images and explained that everything she saw was "consistent with fibrocystic changes." I have "dense" breast tissue with lots of "calcifications." The lump is deep, though, and will probably need to be aspirated by a breast surgeon. She wanted me to discuss next steps with my doctor as soon as the results have been communicated.

So there you go. Not bad all 'round. Everything seems to be pointing toward a cyst.

Thank goodness.

Switcheroo

If this lump is indeed just a false alarm, caffeine may play a part in the fluctuation of hormone levels that lead to the development of these kinds of things in my breast tissue. Both my mom and older sister cut most of the caffeine out of their diets long ago --- now it's my turn. This shouldn't be a hardship in most ways. I haven't touched chocolate since about one-third of the way into this reducing regimen. I'm not accustomed to drinking tea or soda. And it's way too hot in this part of the world to savor a cup of cocoa! What is definitely going to be tough is making the switch in my morning coffee.

Was decaf available in the 1940s? Apparently so. The process of stripping the "caffein" from coffee beans was developed in Germany in 1903. A brand called Dekafa was introduced in the U.S. in 1909 or 1910, but it wasn't until General Foods began distributing Sanka (French for "without caffein") nationwide in 1928 that the concept took off. By the '40s, Sanka was available in an instant variety, too.

Of course, the big selling point in those days was not any kind of link to fibrocystic breasts, it was the idea that caffein-free coffee could prevent the "jitters" and sleeplessness that came along with a nightly cup of coffee. Judging from my American Woman's Cook Book (1945), coffee or tea were still a tradition at the evening meal, so I wouldn't be surprised in the least if insomnia was a problem for lots of people - especially those who drank coffee with a late dinner! Here's what my cookbook has to say about decaf:

CAFFEIN-FREE COFFEES - Coffees from which most or all of its caffein has been extracted are on the market. These are sold under trade names. Together with cereal beverages they are used by those who prefer them to coffee or who may find coffee too stimulating.

Day One of the Switcheroo: I made myself a pot of decaffeinated Eight O'Clock and promptly took a 90-minute nap. Eeesh. Will I be able to stay awake at work tomorrow morning?

44 + 1 = 45

I've lost a pound this week - and gained a lump in my breast.

Which I'd happily trade for the pound.

Chances are it's nothing serious. Both my mom and my older sister have had false alarms, so I'm optimistic that my breast tissue is just as prone to these things as theirs. But boy does it feel like I've got a live grenade strapped to my body. And the powerless feeling is unfortunately very familiar. I remember it well from the illness I suffered during my late 20s.

So I've got to wait until the Monday after next for my (first) mammogram and breast ultrasound. Nine days. The only strategy I can think of for getting through this is just to throw myself into my housework and my fitness routine. Whatever it takes not to have time to dwell. It's actually kinda nice to have so much on my plate right now. Comfort food? I'm craving it like crazy, but these are things I have control over these days. I'll take what I can get. I'll be back later today with a more upbeat post, I promise!

Week Thirty-seven: The Mission

As those of you who read my blog last Sunday learned, I've now lost enough weight that my blood pressure has begun to fall naturally. This is great news! For the last two years, my blood pressure has been so high that I had to take both a medication and a diuretic to treat the condition. When I saw my doctor a few weeks ago, she told me that I didn't need to take the diuretic any longer and - if I continue losing weight - I should be able to slowly reduce the medication dosage over time. I held off as long as I could, because I knew that I would gain some water weight when I stopped taking the diuretic. As my body adjusted to carrying around a normal amount of water in the tissues, I'd see that reflected on the scale.

Sure enough, I have. Sunday was my lost dose of the diuretic. Since that time, I've gained 4 lbs. --- presumably in water weight. I've gone from a fantastic 174 to a dreary 178. I'm trying not to panic. This is a good thing. It needed to happen. I'm thrilled to see my blood pressure responding so nicely to my weight loss. But, boy, are those numbers hard to swallow. All my instincts are screaming at me, "Just stop eating entirely!" "Work out five hours a day!" "Stop drinking water!" And I'm trying desperately to talk myself down and stick with the hard work I've been doing all the while. It's working. I know it's working. I've just got to keep slogging away. My body is loving the added water weight. It's better for my skin, better for my hair, better for my organs. My kidneys alone have got to be singing "Hallelujah!" that they're no longer pulling overtime.

So here I am. 4 lbs. heavier than last Saturday, but with a decidedly healthier anatomy. Maybe the distraction of a new vintage beauty mission is just what I need...

Fitness
It's time to add some strength training to my fitness routine. I've been giving so much attention to my legs that my arms could really use some work. Rather than use the dumb bells and barbells that might have been found in a '40s reducing salon, I'm going to start with a very modern pair of 1-lb. wrist weights. I found a set made by Reebok last night and strapped 'em on before my walk this morning. They're just heavy enough to make my arms work a little harder. I'm also planning to use them while I do my limbering and stretching exercises in the mornings and evenings.



Reducing
1940s nutritionists were acutely aware that women following a reducing plan might not be getting all the minerals and nutrients needed for optimum health, so they frequently recommended some sort of "vitamin concentrate" or "multiple-vitamin preparation" to supplement the diet. This was an era of steadfast faith in science, so the idea of vitamins was hot, hot, hot. People figured if they could formulate precisely what the body needed to function then it was simply a matter of taking a scientific approach to things in order to supply those needs. I've always believed I could do that just as easily by eating a varied diet (and my bloodwork has usually agreed), but I'm not perfect. I've still got plenty of work to do in building a better diet --- so in the meantime I'm going to begin taking a multivitamin. It took some time to pick out a vegetarian-friendly formula, but I purchased one a few days ago. It needs to be taken three times a day with meals.

Grooming
Here's the next step in the 1946 grooming routine. After taking my evening bath (or morning shower on the weekends), I'm to put that bath towel to work:

Rub yourself dry, so that you tingle all over and chest and back turn a healthy pink.

Dollars and Distractions

In late January, I began tracking my "food dollar" for a month-long experiment. Based on some vintage advice on budgeting for groceries, I started keeping track of my expenditures on food and beverages. Each item ended up in one of five categories: Breads and Cereals/Fruits and Vegetables/Eggs, Beans, and Soy/Milk and Cheese/Fats, Sugar, and Miscellaneous Items (this category included most pre-packaged, processed foods or restaurant meals). The idea being that at the end of the month I should see about 1/5 of my food dollar falling into each category. Wrong! At the end of the month, I tallied everything up and was dismayed by the results. Not only was I spending $100-$125 per month more than I thought I'd been, but my food dollar was wildly skewed with 2/3 of my spending going right into that last category (Fats, Sugar, and Miscellaneous Items).

I decided to try the experiment again in six months and hoped to see some better results after making some positive changes in my eating habits. It's been six months, so I've posted a new food dollar tally in the column to the right. I think it'll be real interesting to see what kind of progess I've made in another month!

After cooling off from my workout this morning, I got myself all gussied up for the 9:00 Mass. I actually do belong to a parish. Though I've attended church erratically in the various places I've lived as an adult, I hadn't been a member of any particular parish since I was living under my parents' roof. When my sister asked me to be Poppet's godmother last spring, I had to settle down somewhere. So I joined the church I'd attended with my parents when they spent the winter here two years ago. I've even got the printed collection envelopes and everything - though it did take some time to find 'em this morning!

I felt a bit self-conscious as I walked to my car in the parking lot of my apartment building. Most of the people out and about were dressed in jeans or shorts and T-shirts. But that self-consciousness disappeared once I got to church and saw plenty of folks in their Sunday best. I usually listen to CDs or the radio when I'm driving, but it didn't feel quite right this morning. Like I was breaking some sort of spell of silence or something. Maybe it'd be a good idea to turn off the radio on Sunday mornings. Just so I'm in a more reflective place by the time I arrive to church. Come to think of it, there was a lot of static this first Sunday morning. I was so distracted by the usual discomforts that it was hard to really slow down and enjoy the experience. I've always hated going to church by myself. And it stinks when you end up sitting in a section with a bunch of non-singers. I like to sing along to the hymns but feel so self-conscious (there it is again!) when most of the people around me are silent.

The biggest distraction of all was physical. One of the nasty side effects of carrying around the kind of weight I have is high blood pressure. For two years now, I've treated that problem with two medications - one of which is a diuretic. When I saw my doctor three weeks ago, she suggested that I stop taking the diuretic at some point soon. My blood pressure is lowering naturally as I lose weight and eventually I'll be able to taper off both medications. That's great news, right? I've been hesitant to do it, because I knew I'd probably gain a few pounds of water weight. Well, my blood pressure dropped so low this morning that I almost fainted during church. Just after the homily. We were kneeling down and I started blacking out. Sat back up, took a mint from my purse, and blessedly made it through the Mass. It was a frightening experience though, so I've stopped taking the diuretic.

Let's just say my first Sunday of regular church attendance was not a wild success --- but I'll be back! With my envelope.

Hold the Cream

I tried to do it, I really tried. This morning's 1945 breakfast menu started out with Sliced Bananas with Cream. My arteries won the contest, though, and I ate the Bananas without the Cream:

Sliced Bananas

Poached Free Range Eggs on Toast

Cream and Top Milk were a staple fixture on the 1940s breakfast table. And not just for coffee. People laced their cooked cereals with Top Milk. They served cold cereals in bowls of Cream. Now it shows up with fruit. I guess they didn't have the constant commentary on health running through their heads that we do today. Cream and Top Milk were considered nutrient-dense foods, not cholesterol-laden substances to be used in strict moderation. I hesitated before the Cream in the dairy section at the grocery store last Wednesday. Thought I really ought to taste the dish for the sake of The Experiment. But I just couldn't do it.

At any rate, this was the last of the breakfast menus in the front of my cookbook. When I started trying 'em out a couple weeks ago, I expected these menus to be a little ritzier than the ones in the budget feature in the back of the cookbook. Fresher ingredients, maybe. So how did they measure up? Here's a bit I wrote about the budget-conscious menus:

Nearly half of the meals (43%) were built around some sort of cooked cereal. 27% of the menus were built around an egg dish. Baked goods were the main attraction for 20% of the menus, and cold cereal for the remaining 10%... I'm also a vegetarian, so I've taken any meat dishes out of the menus. This didn't take much time. These were the war years, and only 20% of the menus even include meat.

The menus in the front of the book are only built around cooked cereal 9% of the time. Nearly two-thirds of the meals (64%) feature an egg dish, and baked goods lead the way in 27% of the menus. You can see right away just how useful cooked cereals would have been to the housewife who had to be especially careful with money. Somebody who was a little more comfortable financially could count on having eggs at the breakfast table several times a week. Another major difference is that 46% of these front-of-the-book menus include meat - twice the amount as in the back of the book. The only kind of meat referenced in the budget section is bacon, while the menus in the front of the book include codfish, ham, and sausage. Another glimpse into the kind of pantry a thriftier housewife would have kept in the '40s.

I'm not done experimenting with breakfast just yet. I've been able to find eight more vintage breakfast menus in cookbooks and magazines, so I'm going to try these out and then move on to dinner. The first trio of menus is from a 1944 edition of the Good Housekeeping Cook Book (New York: Farrar and Rinehart). I'm also going to fire up my "new" Drip-O-lator for the first time. A friend bought me this lovely contraption last summer and it looks absolutely fabulous on my stovetop, but it was missing the aluminum drip unit that fits in the top. Until Christmas, that is. It's all assembled and ready to go, but I feel a bit like I'm trying out a new Bunsen burner in the lab. Will it make good coffee?