Dorothy Dix Says...

I'm not sure that several decades' worth of statistics have borne out Ms. Dix's opinion, but here are her thoughts on whether divorce is "hereditary" or not. This column was first printed on February 17, 1949.

Dear Miss Dix: The boy I am engaged to is all that a girl could want in a husband, except his folks have been divorced and each has married again and so have mine. Divorce on both sides. Does that mean that divorce is hereditary in our families? People tell me that if one’s parents are divorced, there is no chance of having a happy marriage. Is this true?

MISS BETTYE.

Answer - No. There is not a scintilla of truth in the belief that divorce is hereditary, and that if your father and mother were unhappily married your marriage is bound to be a failure. Indeed, so far as family fights being catching, the opposite is generally the case, and the children who have grown up in discordant homes usually make the most peaceful and considerate husbands and wives.

Their parents are an awful warning to them. They have seen the cat and dog lives their mothers and fathers have led. They have seen their homes broken up and their families scattered. They have suffered from the disaster that a high-tempered woman and a selfish man can inflict upon helpless children, and they are determined not to bring such a misfortune upon their own households. The children of broken homes want no divorce in theirs.

Dorothy Dix Says...

Rising divorce rates during the 1940s brought about a whole new set of questions for "agony aunts" like Dorothy Dix. Here's one divorce-related plea for advice in a column first printed on February 28, 1942. How does Ms. Dix do this week?

Dear Dorothy Dix: My husband was divorced before we ever met - so was I. He is one of the finest men on earth - good to me in every respect, except one. But what I can not stand, and that I know will eventually end in our separation, is that he has kept all the furniture that he and his former wife had, and insists upon my using it. Many of the things were wedding presents to her. So imagine my feelings when my friends ask me: “Where did you get these lovely linens?” Or: “Did you make this luncheon set?” And I have to tell them they were No. 1s. I admit they are very nice; but I would gladly trade them for a shabbily furnished apartment. No one could understand, unless they had been through it, what it is to be alone all day washing dishes that were never bought for them; polishing furniture and ironing clothes that were done many times by their predecessor. Once I mentioned that I would like to get some new linens, but my husband said we couldn’t afford them, and what was the use when we had all of this? I vowed to myself that I would never mention it to him again, but I know that sometime when I have spent a long day looking at her things I will leave. And if I do leave, I won’t leave as much as a hairpin to haunt another wife if he should remarry.

POLLYANNA’S STEPSISTER.

Answer - Of course you are making a mountain out of a mole hill, but inasmuch as you have your mound built so high that it shuts off your sunshine, your husband should be wise enough to level it down and cart the dirt away in the interest of peace and happiness. Consider that this is his second venture into matrimony, he has learned little about women if he has not found out that you can not argue with their prejudices and whims, and that they can make themselves just as miserable over a fancied grievance as a real one.

I think you will be foolish to break up your home and give up an otherwise good husband because of the association connected with a few chairs and tables, but I think your husband is still more foolish not to understand how you feel about the matter and send the offending articles to the auction room. It would be a cheap price to pay for keeping a home intact.