47 + 2 = 49

My grandmother died on Monday night. It was truly a blessing. She was imprisoned by Alzheimer's disease and dementia for the last four years, so I'm very happy that she's finally free of them both. It's been a tough week. I thought I'd already grieved for Nana - when we lost her in one sense - but I clearly wasn't finished. I've started to write a post several times this week and was never able to finish. She's been the only thing on my mind, but her death is too personal to share.

Housework has actually been a great comfort during this incredibly crummy fall. When you're feeling all at ends with the world, there's nothing like mechanical work - tasks that don't require any kind of creative energy - to keep you from climbing the walls. It can tire you out, too, which helps you sleep at night. And for better or worse, you'll never run out of housework! Exercise has been an unexpected friend to me as well. I've exorcised many a demon as I gritted my teeth and walked my six laps at the park. If I'm frustrated by something on the job, I rejoice in the opportunity to break free at noon, draw some fresh air into my lungs, and burn some calories.

On an up note, I've re-lost the 2 lbs. I'd gained last week and weighed in at 145 this morning. (Whoo-hoo!) I tried on some pants in a size 10 yesterday and was thrilled to find that they fit me perfectly!!! So I'm headed out to do some shopping later today and pick up a few new things for my wardrobe. I may need to invest also in some new underwear. It seems my tush no longer fills out my current supply... Can't be rockin' my new figure with a saggy bottom!

An acquaintance of mine has decided to play matchmaker. She wants to set me up with a friend who's 39, hails from New York, and is a herpetologist at the university where I work. (Think lizards and toads.) "I'm always up for a set-up!" I told her. After all, how can I truly become a 1940s housewife, without becoming a wife? Let's give him a try.

Jitterbug 1:1

I've tried to approach The Experiment as an attempt to understand the 1940s housewife as a whole woman. Not just the nitty gritty like housework, beauty rituals, vintage cookery, and not just the fun stuff like hairstyling, clothes, and movies --- but the rhythm of life and ways of relating to others which made up the context for all that. Things like etiquette, arts, and social activities - they can be so deeply engrained in the background of life that my '40s counterpart may not even have noticed them herself. Mind you, there's plenty of things about the 1940s cultural mindset that I'm perfectly happy to leave in the past, but there's much of value, I think, that could enrich our modern lives.

And if I'm ever going to truly understand the world to which my grandmothers belonged, I must hie myself to church.

Now if I can just get across the threshhold without being struck down by a thunderbolt, I wonder how my life might be shaped by going to Mass every week. (I'm being a little over-dramatic with the thunderbolts stuff. I was just in church last Sunday with my parents. Nothing happened.) I hope those of you who are deeply serious and devoted to your faith will not feel that I'm being flippant or proposing this in jest. I'm not. (Likewise, I hope those readers who might feel impelled to proselytize will step away from the comments button.) I've come to appreciate more with the years just how important and meaningful my parents' faith has been to them. My own relationship with God has been a long and stormy one, but there have been many occasions when going to church has been a comforting experience to me. I have theological differences with every religion out there, but despite all the churches I've "sampled" over the years, none has ever felt quite as much like home as the Catholic church in which I was raised.

My grandmothers had very different religious experiences. My paternal grandmother was raised in the Methodist church and married into the Catholic church. Her faith must have been deeply shaken when she was widowed at 36 (my age!) with four small children. But it also must have reminded her of her late husband and helped her in keeping his memory alive in her children's hearts. My maternal grandmother was raised in the Baptist church and married a Catholic man, much to the consternation of both their families. "Mixed marriage" was a big deal in rural America in the 1930s. (Her mother-in-law never accepted the marriage.) She and my grandfather set religion aside and raised their daughter outside either church.

This must have been fairly unusual in the small town in which they lived... Agnostics, atheists, working folks who were just too plain tired on their one day off in a six-day-working-week world - these good folks have existed in every time and place, but they were still a very small minority in 1940s America. If you were a member of the business class, you could lose clients and social standing if you weren't a member of some faith. For many people, the church to which they belonged was the center of their social activities. The vast majority of Americans were Christians and so on Sunday mornings the world came to a virtual pause for church. Stores and restaurants were closed. Social activities were taboo on Sunday mornings. Church services and religious music could be found across the radio dial. Things certainly picked up on Sunday afternoons, but even then most folks shared in experiences like hearty noon-day meals, visits with family, drives in the country, leisurely activities at the park or at home.

It's hard for me to imagine in 2009 how hushed and still Sunday mornings must once have seemed. Today, Sundays are like every other day of the week for almost all of the people I know. And yet, I think there's something of great value in taking regular time out every week to stop and reflect on your place in this world and feel gratitude for blessings. I may have mentioned this before, but I'd really like to bring back that kind of rest and ritual to my own life. So will I chafe at attending Mass so regularly in my Sunday best? Will I listen to the service with a new ear? Will I find myself joining the choir and crocheting doilies for the Christmas crafts fair with the other church ladies? Hmmm... I hope my red lipstick isn't too flashy for church!