I've tried to approach The Experiment as an attempt to understand the 1940s housewife as a whole woman. Not just the nitty gritty like housework, beauty rituals, vintage cookery, and not just the fun stuff like hairstyling, clothes, and movies --- but the rhythm of life and ways of relating to others which made up the context for all that. Things like etiquette, arts, and social activities - they can be so deeply engrained in the background of life that my '40s counterpart may not even have noticed them herself. Mind you, there's plenty of things about the 1940s cultural mindset that I'm perfectly happy to leave in the past, but there's much of value, I think, that could enrich our modern lives.
And if I'm ever going to truly understand the world to which my grandmothers belonged, I must hie myself to church.
Now if I can just get across the threshhold without being struck down by a thunderbolt, I wonder how my life might be shaped by going to Mass every week. (I'm being a little over-dramatic with the thunderbolts stuff. I was just in church last Sunday with my parents. Nothing happened.) I hope those of you who are deeply serious and devoted to your faith will not feel that I'm being flippant or proposing this in jest. I'm not. (Likewise, I hope those readers who might feel impelled to proselytize will step away from the comments button.) I've come to appreciate more with the years just how important and meaningful my parents' faith has been to them. My own relationship with God has been a long and stormy one, but there have been many occasions when going to church has been a comforting experience to me. I have theological differences with every religion out there, but despite all the churches I've "sampled" over the years, none has ever felt quite as much like home as the Catholic church in which I was raised.
My grandmothers had very different religious experiences. My paternal grandmother was raised in the Methodist church and married into the Catholic church. Her faith must have been deeply shaken when she was widowed at 36 (my age!) with four small children. But it also must have reminded her of her late husband and helped her in keeping his memory alive in her children's hearts. My maternal grandmother was raised in the Baptist church and married a Catholic man, much to the consternation of both their families. "Mixed marriage" was a big deal in rural America in the 1930s. (Her mother-in-law never accepted the marriage.) She and my grandfather set religion aside and raised their daughter outside either church.
This must have been fairly unusual in the small town in which they lived... Agnostics, atheists, working folks who were just too plain tired on their one day off in a six-day-working-week world - these good folks have existed in every time and place, but they were still a very small minority in 1940s America. If you were a member of the business class, you could lose clients and social standing if you weren't a member of some faith. For many people, the church to which they belonged was the center of their social activities. The vast majority of Americans were Christians and so on Sunday mornings the world came to a virtual pause for church. Stores and restaurants were closed. Social activities were taboo on Sunday mornings. Church services and religious music could be found across the radio dial. Things certainly picked up on Sunday afternoons, but even then most folks shared in experiences like hearty noon-day meals, visits with family, drives in the country, leisurely activities at the park or at home.
It's hard for me to imagine in 2009 how hushed and still Sunday mornings must once have seemed. Today, Sundays are like every other day of the week for almost all of the people I know. And yet, I think there's something of great value in taking regular time out every week to stop and reflect on your place in this world and feel gratitude for blessings. I may have mentioned this before, but I'd really like to bring back that kind of rest and ritual to my own life. So will I chafe at attending Mass so regularly in my Sunday best? Will I listen to the service with a new ear? Will I find myself joining the choir and crocheting doilies for the Christmas crafts fair with the other church ladies? Hmmm... I hope my red lipstick isn't too flashy for church!
16 comments:
Good luck... and don't forget to wear your hat and your gloves
You might be surprised at what you experience through becoming a regular church-goer. I find my faith to be a great blessing in my life. You won't become a "church lady" unless you want to. :)
Beautiful post. No, you won't get struck by lightning! God will probably be thrilled that you are back in his house. Good luck with this new ritual.
What an interesting post and so relevant to exploring the culture at that time. I converted from Baptist to Catholic 7 years ago and it was so good for me. I feel at home in the Catholic church and as life has gotten bumpier as I get older with ups and downs, it has been the one constant solid rock that I have to go back to and help me get through life. I can see why it was important in 1940 with what was going on in the world at that time. Remember 9/11 when everyone flocked to chuch? The world was at war and America was about to be as well.
Remember when stores used to actually be closed on the weekend...all day long? It's so different today.
As the priest always tells me after a long postponed confession ... welcome back... (red lips stick and all.) It really is home. My Mom always wears lip stick to church pink, now days, but I know red is her favorite color I am sure she wore red in the forties. Mom and Dad were married in 1946
weenie_elise, thanks for the reminder! Now if only I owned a hat and gloves...
Mama Kitty, I'm open to anything. I've learned a lot from every one of missions.
Packrat, you're very kind. I'll remember this if I hear any thunder crackling in the sky next Sunday morning!
Bonjour Madame, I'd imagine faith was a huge help to many folks during both wars, during the Depression, during the Cold War. Life never ceases to be filled with things that shake us, does it? Sadly, I can't remember myself when stores were closed all day Sunday. As far back as I can go, I can remember stores/malls opening real late on Sundays and maybe closing early. Nowadays even that tradition seems to be coming to an end.
Mrs Tailleur, I suppose I'm long overdue for a trip to the confessional myself. Hmm... a special lipstick color just for Sundays? Sounds like a great excuse for a new lipstick!
The chuch did play a very big part in most families lifes in the 40's. I recall stories my mom would tell me about how they would often invite the Priest over for dinner.
Many kids had the fear of God in them and to be honest I think the world was a better place.
Like you said, so many people don't go to church all the time and even if they do they don't go as a family.
It is nice to go and for at least one hour a week leave all your worries behind and feel safe in church.
I have to admit I'm guilty of not going like I used to. I did feel better when I went. I need to get back there myself.
I wonder if God put this whole 1940s mission on your heart as a way of getting you to return to church? They say He works in strange ways sometimes.
Hugs,
Joanne
I admire your post. Sometimes I miss my Catholic many times a week masses, others, I consider myself a "recovering Catholic". I am very unreconciled with my spiritual self. May you find and feel peace with what you find and seek. =)
LPM
This was an interesting and insightful post. Thank you for sharing your journey. It is quite an effort to get my family out the door and to Mass on time because (of course) we'd all rather sleep in...but it's worth the effort. Besides, it is usually the only day of the week I get to wear heels and a dress!
P.S. one other thing: there is something comforting about the liturgical calendar and the way it follows the seasons throughout the year. Easter and Christmas seem to me to be much more special after the weeks and weeks of waiting.
I just happened across your post a few days ago. Very interesting. Todays post encouraged me to leave a comment.
I grew a pastor's daughter in small towns where things still came to a stop and closed dwn on Sundays. The small town I live in now is not 100% that way, but you might be suprised at the various places that are not open on Sundays.
I currently attend a non-denominational church. A strong issue there is that God doesn't belong to a certain denomination, that he is a part of all of them. I like that!
I hope this venture goes well for you. I can not imagine a life without a personal relationship with Jesus; that is literally what gets me through some days. I hope you wont mind, I will be saying a prayer for you.
Joanne, some interesting thoughts. As for God putting this whole thing together with the one end in mind, who knows?
LPM, I wish the very same to you... I've felt unreconciled with my spirituality since - well, probably since about the time I graduated high school. Some of that conflict has eased up in my thirties. I'm not sure if going to church grates like it used to - to my younger self - when there are pieces of the service, etc. that don't mesh with my personal theology. There are other things about church which make up for that for me, I guess. We'll see!
Tessa, I totally agree. The holidays have always seemed much more meaningful to me when part of something larger.
J.A., I'd be honored. :) It's heartening to hear that there still some very quiet places in the world on Sunday morning. The city I live in now is just one free-for-fall on Sundays --- all the social reasons that might keep somebody tempted to go shopping or something in a small town no longer exist here in a place where you rarely see a familiar face.
I'm not Catholic, I'm Church of England, but I think you'll find real comfort in the liturgy (well, at least I do) it gives you a real sense of rhythm to your year. You're right about having a quiet time, just once a week, to count your blessings, worship God, meet with other folk (who are often of all different ages and dispositions), attending a church service is one of the few things we do socially which involves having a relationship with people other than our immediate peers. I've church friends who are 18 and who are 80!
oh, and although they won't *make* you be a church lady, you'll find it just creeps up on you and all of a sudden you're crocheting and tea making all for the glory of God....
I too have recently returned - at least part-time - to the church of my childhood, which I left, angrily, in my teens. Leaving was partly about not having the maturity to understand Christian theology - it just didn't make sense then, and partly about being hurt and angry (with reason) about everything at home, school, etc. Now I am finding a deepness in my Lutheran background - not just the liturgy and worship - but for example, I find Dietrich Bonhoeffer's writing exceptionally moving and thoughtful. But Bonhoeffer belongs to us all.
Your post was truly beautiful and I admire your willingness to be open to the journeys that "1940" leads you to.
weenie elise is right about the hat not only is it lady like ...but up until vatican 2 (1960's) Women covered their heads in the catholic church. Just something I remembered as a wee child.
I grew up as the granddaughter of a minister. The whole family attended his church when I was young but by junior high I was attending the Episcopal church with our neighbors, more as a social activity than a religious one. I love the idea of church as a place of community and fellowship but not the idea of God. That doesn't stop me from keeping Sunday as a special time. I spend the morning having a leisurely breakfast, listening to music, knitting, reading, watching the birds on the feeder and enjoying the peace and quiet. I notice that I get a little cranky when I don't have my "Sunday time". I find your trip back to the 1940s fascinating!
Heather and Dulce Domum, there's definitely a social aspect to regularly attending and being part of a church which I'm interested in exploring.
Maggie, thanks so much for your comment. I think it's wonderful that you're finding something so valuable in the faith of your childhood. I used to insist on "all or nothing" when it came to religion - either I believed and agreed with every point of theology or I didn't --- but that's shifted a bit as I've gotten older.
Mrs. Tailleur, not only was covering your head the proper thing to do in the Catholic church of the '40s, but wearing a hat was considered proper at most public functions. I'm afraid my only hat - a pink baseball cap - wouldn't quite fit the bill!
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