All Quiet on the Home Front

I'm sorry I've been so quiet this week... I picked up some kind of a nasty stomach virus early this week and have been a mess ever since. I've lost 6 lbs. in water weight since Tuesday - 2 of those lbs. were just the standard PMS bloat, but 4 lbs. are healthy water weight. I would gladly trade them back if these symptoms would just disappear. I'm doing everything in my toolbox to re-hydrate, but may have to go into the hospital for a day or two to get some IV fluids. The large intestine is where most of the fluid we ingest is absorbed into the body, so - without a large intestine - dehydration is something I have to guard against constantly. In ten years, it's never once been a problem bad enough that I had to go the IV route. Rats! Breakin' my record!!! Thank goodness for that comfy new mattress. It's gotten quite a lot of use this week. I'll keep you posted, but don't be worried if I'm a bit quiet for a few more days. This virus has got to work its way through me eventually, right?

Dorothy Dix Says...

I'm not sure that several decades' worth of statistics have borne out Ms. Dix's opinion, but here are her thoughts on whether divorce is "hereditary" or not. This column was first printed on February 17, 1949.

Dear Miss Dix: The boy I am engaged to is all that a girl could want in a husband, except his folks have been divorced and each has married again and so have mine. Divorce on both sides. Does that mean that divorce is hereditary in our families? People tell me that if one’s parents are divorced, there is no chance of having a happy marriage. Is this true?

MISS BETTYE.

Answer - No. There is not a scintilla of truth in the belief that divorce is hereditary, and that if your father and mother were unhappily married your marriage is bound to be a failure. Indeed, so far as family fights being catching, the opposite is generally the case, and the children who have grown up in discordant homes usually make the most peaceful and considerate husbands and wives.

Their parents are an awful warning to them. They have seen the cat and dog lives their mothers and fathers have led. They have seen their homes broken up and their families scattered. They have suffered from the disaster that a high-tempered woman and a selfish man can inflict upon helpless children, and they are determined not to bring such a misfortune upon their own households. The children of broken homes want no divorce in theirs.

Perfect Sleeper

I feel like such a grown-up.

My car and my computer are probably the only items - until yesterday - that I've ever made a substantial investment in purchasing. Now I can add a new mattress to that list. When I first moved out of my parents' home and into an apartment of my own, I trucked along the mattress they'd bought me several years before. When I moved out west, I inherited my sister's old mattress --- which has got to be about 15 years old now. Those hand-me-down mattresses have served me well, but it felt wonderful yesterday to choose something brand new. Something I chose because it met all of my own mattress needs. My own hard work translated into something tangible for once. Not just groceries (which disappear almost instantaneously) or clothes (which I shrink out of sooner or later), but something substantial that's going to be part of my home for quite some time.

Henry Humphrey, the editor of Woman's Home Companion Household Book (1948) asserts that there is no other furnishing in the household so important as a quality box spring and mattress. You know, even as I left the mattress showroom yesterday, I was feeling a little guilty about not having purchased the least expensive mattress I tried out. I ended up spending $700 for a mismatched queen-sized set by Serta, but I could've spent less. Reading this makes me feel easier about my investment:

From the standpoint of health and comfort, the bed is the most important single article of furniture in the house, and it deserves all the consideration that it can be given, both when you come to select it and when you start to care for it. By bed we mean box spring and mattress. The frame isn't at all important to your comfort; it serves only an esthetic purpose, but the best mattress and spring available will pay dividends in rest and health.

You can select a bed from any one of five different types and still have the utmost in comfort. A box spring is almost essential but there are good springs which are not boxed. The choice of a mattress depends upon you - whether you like a soft, downy bed or a hard, firm one. Up until a few years ago, the innerspring mattress was considered the best in comfort and durability but the development of the rubber foam type has been a serious challenge to the innerspring. Other health authorities recommend horsehair or cotton felt mattresses, but no matter which type is chosen it is always wise to buy one with a well-established name from a reputable dealer. There is no such thing as a bargain in a mattress.

With 60 years' hindsight, we know that innerspring mattresses were never completely eclipsed by rubber foam mattresses. Today's mattresses combine the best of both worlds - in most cases the innersprings are surrounded by various kinds of foam.

Did you know Serta's been around since the 1930s? Thirteen independent U.S. mattress factories banded together in 1931 under the name Sleeper, Inc. with plans to capture a share of the national market by manufacturing mattresses according to the same specifications and standards. They called their first mattress (the first tuftless mattress ever made) "Perfect Sleeper" and, though the company changed its own brand name to Serta during the early '40s, the Perfect Sleeper remained a hot commodity throughout the decade - and is still being sold today!

Well, my 21st-century Serta is supposed to be delivered today. You know how that goes. I'll probably be stuck at home most of the day waiting for the delivery people to arrive, but I'm going to make the most of that time by catching up on this weekend's housework. And I'm going to go to sleep tonight on my very own mattress. You know how they say you sleep better in your own bed... here's my chance to find out.

57 + 1 = 58

One more week - and one more pound. I weighed in at 136 this morning, for a total weight loss of 58 lbs. That mini-goal of 134 by Saturday, February 20 is just 2 lbs. away now. Can I do it? I'm certainly going to try!

This has been a lovely winter. My parents have been in town since late November and don't plan to head home to New England until early April --- which has been fantastic (it's such a treat to see them playing with Kitten and Poppet!), but it also makes my social calendar more full than it was during my first year of The Great Housekeeping Experiment. And when my social calendar is full, I feel like I'm always one step behind in my housework. I'm looking forward to making one of my vintage dinners for them one of these nights, though, and showing off some of my new cooking skills. Boy, won't they be surprised! I guess I ought to give some thought to the menu. Maybe I can plan a Washington's Birthday celebration or something...

One of the many things on my to-do list while my parents - and their truck! - are in town is to make my major furniture purchases for my nest: a sofa and a new mattress set. We're headed out this morning to do a little "market research." I haven't been furniture shopping in years, so it'll be good to see what's out there and get a feel for the prices. (It may take me a few trips like this just to get comfortable with the money I'm going to have to fork over. When you haven't spent a lot of money on any one thing in years, the idea can take some getting used to!)

Henry Humphrey's Woman's Home Companion Household Book (1948) offers some interesting advice on sofas:

To follow a good general rule, be sure that there are as many upholstered pieces as there are members of your family. Add to these a couch or sofa and there will be a comfortable seating arrangement for both family and guests. For large gatherings, provision will have to be made for extra chairs, probably taken from other parts of the house, so consider the upholstered pieces from the standpoint of comfort for your immediate family and the average number of people you entertain.

If there is no other accommodation for an overnight guest, the living room may occasionally have to substitute as a bedroom. For this purpose, a studio couch, or some type of couch which can be made into a bed, is a sensible investment.

If the guest bedroom problem does not concern you, the living room's upholstered furniture may be of any kind or type you like. There are all sizes and shapes of sofas; there are loveseats, couches, studio couches and chairs. Quality is important when buying. Flashy exteriors never make up for solid construction.

Okay, so if there's only one member in my family, then I only need one upholstered piece in my living room + a couch or sofa. Sweet! I'm halfway there. I already own an oversized club chair and ottoman covered in a burgundy velvet. I don't have any accommodations for overnight guests, but I rarely have overnight guests --- and now that my parents have a place out here which is going to be vacant half the year, you might say I have a guest room just across town. (Just kidding!) I would like to upgrade to a larger apartment at some point - one with a second bedroom for Kitten or Poppet to sleep in when they stay over at Auntie's - so while a sleep sofa might come in handy once in a great while, I probably wouldn't need it in my next place. I suspect sleep sofas are much more expensive than traditional sofas, but that's something I need to look into while I'm out shopping today. It's still on the table.

What do you suppose a "studio couch" is? As near as I can figure from the instructions in this book on slipcovering a studio couch, it's a flat piece you'd leave bolsters on during the day for seating and remove them at night to convert it into a bed of sorts. My great-aunt, who built and furnished a home in the 1940s with her husband, had two of these pieces on the sleeping porch. When my sisters and I were visiting, we'd take the bolsters off at night, pile them on the floor, then spread our sleeping bags on top. There were three of us and only two of the couches, so one unfortunate sister always ended up sleeping on the window seat. Luckily it was padded!

The living room in my apartment is not large, so size is key. I'm aiming at something about the size of a loveseat. And if I need a larger sofa in my next place one day, I'll still be able to get some use out of the smaller sofa in another room or as a second piece. I'm planning on something with a fairly neutral upholstery - maybe a medium tan or straw color - but who knows what'll strike my fancy. It probably won't be any of bright jewel tones popular in '40s upholstered furniture. Check out the blues and greens and violets in these vintage slipcover advertisements! You never know, though.



Here are the background colors I have to work around. My living room has wall-to-wall carpeting in a dingy apartment blue (think slate blue). The walls and woodwork are painted apartment beige. The window blinds I have to leave in place per my lease are apartment beige as well. My one upholstered chair is a deep burgundy.

I'll let you know how it goes! Thanks as always for making this blog a place where I can focus my thoughts and refine my plans. Y'all are the best!!!

Dorothy Dix Says...

What kind of advice does Dorothy Dix have for thirtysomething women whose biological clocks are starting to tick very loudly? She weighs in on the subject in a column first printed November 2, 1940.

Dear Miss Dix - About once every five years I take a personal inventory to check up on development and progress, if any. Have just been doing this and realize with a shock that I am 33 years old and that if I ever wish to marry and have the normal life of a woman I must be up and doing. So far I have never been in love. Never thought of marrying. Have let two good chances pass me by because I have to support my mother, and lately an invalid sister who is divorced and has two children have been added to my burden. Now the next five years are very important if I am to marry, and I know that I do want to marry. I know that I am good wife material. Am affectionate, attractive, energetic, well read, and domestic. Can you suggest any way out for me, bearing in mind that there is no other revenue other than my salary coming into the house? I will appreciate any advice you can give me on how, when and where to snare the illusive male.

DOT.

Answer - No other woman in the world has such a good opportunity to marry as the business woman, because she is thrown every day and all day in contact with men. Propinquity has a chance to get in its deadly work and it does so often that there is always a big turnover in the female employes in every establishment where the two sexes labor side by side.

So you have the ideal environment. You are casting your bait, so to speak, in a river that is full of suckers, but it is up to you to have enough skill and adroitness to hook your fish and land him. Nobody can teach you the trick.

You have to evolve your own craftsmanship, and apparently you have so far not taken the trouble to do it. You even scared off the two who came and nibbled at your line. So if you want to make your catch you will have to get busy. Thirty-three is getting along toward the deadline for fisherwomen.

I hate to be discouraging to any woman wanting a good husband, but, being a practical business woman yourself, you are bound to realize that your family is an almost insuperable handicap to you. Not many men in these days make enough money or are generous enough to marry a whole ready-made family and take on their shoulders the support of five people instead of one, as your husband would have to do.

Maybe there is some rich old man who would realize that a young, charming, interesting and domestic wife, such as you would be, is worth the price, but even if such a one should appear on the scene, would he be the Prince Charming you had always hoped to marry?

I think that nothing is more tragic than the fate of girls like you who would like to marry and who were intended by nature to marry and make some man happy, but who cannot do so because they are the family goats.

And I think that nothing is more cruel than the way in which families ruthlessly offer up these daughters, without a thought that they are making girls give up their lives for them.

Mothers who are perfectly capable of earning their own support settle down at 45 or 50 on Janey for the balance of their lives. Sisters and brothers demand that Janey work her fingers to the bones and do without everything she wants to send them off to college and give them good clothes, and then they marry without every repaying Janey a cent and go off about their own affairs and leave her to take care of Mother.

Why shouldn't Mother work if she is able to? Why shouldn't the sisters and brothers work their way through college if they are bound to go? Why shouldn't the sisters who lose their tastes for their husbands put up with them, as Janey does with her unpleasant bosses, instead of coming home with a houseful of children for Janey to support?

I am fed up hearing about parasitic families and I am hoping and praying that I will live to see the day when the nanny goats get up on their hind legs and stage a rebellion and refuse to furnish the sacrificial meat any longer. For why work when Janey provides a comfortable home and three square meals a day?

Dorothy Dix Would be Appalled

Talk about an etiquette disaster... I set up a Gmail account several months ago, linked it to my profile, and promptly forgot about it. Packrat mentioned the other day having sent an email to me, so I logged in and there were 18 messages there - some from as far back as last August! You should've seen me blush with embarrassment. Dorothy Dix would be appalled. I responded to about half of your messages last night and will get to the other half as soon as I'm able. To those of you who've written me at that address, please accept my apologies. If I haven't already replied, I'll be doing so very soon.

Balancing the Books

I've spent a few hours balancing my books for January 2010 and it's an interesting picture. The figures below in bold are the recommended allowances for each category of expenditures by the authors of America's Housekeeping Book (1945). In the case of shelter, clothes, operating expenses, and food, I'm spending less than the recommended allowance. This isn't exactly a surprise --- as I've mentioned before, these allowances were based on a single income providing for (on average) a family of six. I should be spending less than the allowances. When it comes to advancement, my spending is right in line with the recommended allowance. So I have to wonder if - based on the above - there are some "leaks" I might plug in my spending on advancement. My savings is above the recommended percentage of income, and that's appropriate. If I'm able to spend less in other categories (as a one-member household), then I should be saving more of my income than the 1940s family was able to save.

Shelter (if heat must be supplied) - 20% of income
Estimate: $479.25
Actual Expenditure for January 2010: $478.01 (14% of income)

Clothes - 15% of income
Estimate: $140.00
Actual Expenditure for January 2010: $247.20 (7% of income)

Operating expenses - 10-15% of income
Estimate: $186.67
Actual Expenditure for January 2010: $120.86 (4% of income)

Food - 20-35% of income
Estimate: $286.25
Actual Expenditure for January 2010: $417.06 (12% of income)

Advancement - 15-20% of income
Estimate: $594.43
Actual Expenditure for January 2010: $606.64 (18% of income)

Savings (other than life insurance) - 10% of income
Estimate: $490.94
Actual Expenditure for January 2010: $528.44 (16% of income)

When you add up my actual expenses in these categories for January 2010, they only total 71% of my income. (My gross income for January 2010 = $3371.71 (pay + interest)). So where's the other 29%? Well, 19% of it went to taxes ($640.48). Another 4% went to payment on debts ($134.64), and the remaining 6% is accounted for simply by the fact that I happened to have $204.57 more cash on hand on January 31 than I did on January 1. (Not to fear! It'll be spent.)

The authors of The Manual recommend your income be spent in the following proportions:
Food (20-35%)
Shelter (20%)
Advancement (15-20%)
Clothes (15%)
Operating Expenses (10-15%)
Savings (10%)

Here's how my expenses for January 2010 break down:
Taxes (19%)
Advancement (18%)
Savings (16%)
Shelter (14%)
Food (12%)
Clothes (7%)
Operating Expenses (4%)
Payment on Debts (4%)

Phew! Balancing my books was exhausting... I'm going to try this again for another month to see if I can gradually get a more accurate picture of my budget. As you can see from the figures in italics, my estimates were close in some categories. In others, like clothes and food, I was way underestimating what I'm spending! I suspect the food one is off because I ate a couple meals out in January (salads only, of course) and did some treating, as well. This has been a very useful exercise, though, and I've been able to identify several specific financial goals for 2010:

1. Once I begin buying new furnishings, I need to investigate the cost of renter's insurance. After going years without, it's time to take the plunge. I'm making a deal with myself - no new goodies if I don't insure them.

2. I've just made the very last payment on my car. (Yippee!) My plan has been that after eliminating that monthly bill, I would upgrade my lifestyle a bit and invest in a broadband internet connection (at last) and purchase a cell phone for emergencies. I need to begin researching bundling plans and see if I can't cut the cost of my landline (averages $55.37 per month) by carrying coverage for all three utilities through one provider.

3. Here's a tip from The Manual that I've been especially mindful of lately: "Don't sacrifice good lighting, but don't keep lights on in empty rooms." With an electric bill that averages $56.90 per month for a one-bedroom apartment, I'd like to see if I can make some savings here.

4. I'd like to double my emergency reserve from $500 to $1,000 by again transferring $25 each pay period from my checking to my savings just for this purpose. At $50 per month, this should be done by the end of November and be relatively painless.

5. Spend wisely! It's time to put some of that reward fund toward feathering my nest. I must be conscious, though, and invest in sturdy things that will stand the test of time. I want to continue growing my reward fund as I go, however. A new car will be necessary at some point - mine is nine years old now - and, as my credit score improves, I know I'll begin wanting to save toward the down payment on a condo or house. (Note to self: it's been a year, face the FICO and find out where you stand!)

6. When my auto insurance expires in June, I'd like to renew the policy with a single payment and save the interest I'd otherwise be paying with monthly payments. If I begin saving now specifically toward that goal, I ought to be able to make that payment in June.

7. Continue paying down my last remaining credit card.

56 + 1 = 57... and Life Insurance

Sayonara, 138! I weighed in at 137 this morning, for a loss of 1 lb. last week. It was a week that tried my willpower. Lots of chilly temps, cloudy skies, and rain. Conditions that conspired many times to making my walks seem so not the thing to do. And wouldn't you just rather curl up indoors on a day like that, eating comfort food and watching season 4 of The Office on DVD? Well, I managed to pull one out in the end, but it wasn't always a given. Onward and upward! I've got 3 more lbs. to go to reach my mini-goal of 134 by Saturday, February 20...

Life insurance - the face of your policies should amount to 2 or more years' income

When it comes to life insurance, the authors of The Manual don't have any insta rule-of-thumb on what percentage of your income should be spent on premiums. Probably because the amount and type of life insurance policies varies so much per family.

How much life insurance? For a family of two, enough insurance to pay bills in case of the husband's death, and to provide a temporary income for the wife - say a $5000 ordinary life insurance policy type costing $80-$100 a year. When a child is expected and for every additional dependent in the family another policy should be taken out in temporary-term life insurance of $1000 to $5000 or more, costing only $10 a year for $1000, and carried until the child reaches majority.

As a one-member, single-income family, I guess the only life insurance I need to carry at this point in my life is enough to pay any bills related to costs of death - funeral expenses and something to cover whatever costs there might be in closing my estate, however small it might be. My employer pays about $1 every two weeks to carry a basic $15,000 life insurance policy in my name. That's probably enough, right?

The Manual goes on to address retirement savings. For those without a pension or who couldn't look forward to any kind of Social Security income, it was recommended that they purchase an "old age annuity" from their life insurance provider. I've been contributing to a state retirement plan for two years now and have been paying into Social Security since I was 16 years old. I'm not always sure that the Social Security will even be there by the time I retire, but at least I have something else now for retirement savings.

Most teachers look forward to a pension, and are depositing annually 5 per cent of salary for it; through Social Security legislation, most workers anticipate old-age pensions; any family that does not have this old-age protection should devote 5 per cent or more of income to an old-age annuity secured from a life insurance company.

Finally, some sage advice on payment plans. You can save big bucks - or purchase a better policy - if you pay the premium in one lump sum instead of in monthly payments. This is something I need to begin doing when it comes to auto insurance.

Families that are buying their life insurance by weekly payments to a collector should transfer to a plan payable every three months, or once a year, at the company's office, thus increasing their insurance by half as much again at the same annual cost. In a few states it is possible to buy life insurance cheaply through savings banks. This type of insurance should be made legal in all states.

Life insurance is the last of the categories of expenses for which the Manual provides some guidelines in its "pattern" budget. Next up: a summary of my income and expenditures for the month of January 2010. How do my actual income and expenditures compare to what I've estimated I'm spending in each category?

Dorothy Dix Says...

This week's column - which dates to January 25, 1940 - is a back-to-the-basics lesson in etiquette. The letter writer must have written the morning after a dinner party she hosted or attended was ruined by a very late guest.

Dear Dorothy Dix - What do you think of a woman who never keeps any appointment or arrives at any function on time? When she is invited to dinner she keeps her hostess and the other guests waiting thirty or forty minutes while the soup scorches and the souffle falls and everybody gets hungrier and hungrier and crosser and crosser and the affair is ruined. Otherwise this woman is charming and pleasant, but she is losing all of her friends by her utter disregard of other people's convenience.

Answer - It is said that promptness is the courtesy of kings, and certainly nothing shows utter lack of breeding as for a selfish individual to make other people wait for him or her. I knew one woman who solved this problem of the dilatory guest very satisfactorily. In her house when dinner was at 8 it was promptly at 8, and the guests who arrived late were served the course that was then in progress, and if they only got in for the salad it was just too bad for them. The result was that as far as Mrs. B., who was noted for her famous food, was concerned, her guests were always on time. I recommend this plan. It always works.