The most popular advice columnist of the 1940s was Dorothy Dix, pen name for Elizabeth Meriwether Gilmer (1861-1951). At her height in popularity, Ms. Dix had a syndicated column which reached approximately 60 million readers around the world. In 1940 alone, she received some 100,000 letters --- many of which were written by American housewives. I think it's high time we bring some of these voices back to life, so Wednesdays will now be dedicated to these vintage advice columns.
What were housewives thinking about? What kinds of concerns did they have when it came to life, love, children, and other relationships? Do these letters fit the picture you have of the '40s housewife? Is Dorothy Dix's advice sound - or does she miss the boat completely?
DEAR DOROTHY DIX - I have been married 15 years. Am still young and enjoy living. My husband is a good provider. We have a beautiful home and two lovely youngsters. I do all of my own sewing and housework. My husband tells me that I would be an ideal wife if I didn't care to smoke or play bridge. Now I only play bridge once a week and I do not smoke excessively.
I have waited on my husband hand and foot all these years and have endeavored to do everything possible to make him happy and comfortable, but I am not going to give up my bridge, which is my only outside pleasure. I love my husband, but I cannot permit him to take away every scintilla of my personal liberty. After all, I never tell him what he can or cannot do.
Just what is your opinion of a man who will let a little innocent game of bridge and an occasional cigaret separate him from an otherwise ideal wife?
INDIGNANT WIFE.
Answer - No man ever makes a bigger mistake than when he deprives his wife of any innocent amusement and tries to keep her shut up inside of the four walls of her home. Yet many husbands do this because they are the victims of the old superstition that a woman should be like the turtle and carry her house on her back, though why, goodness only knows. Turtles don't get very far. Nor are they interesting and amusing as household pets.
Still the idea prevails among old fashioned husbands that there is something meritorious in a woman being a stay-at-home and never going places or seeing things and having no conversational range beyond the children and the next door neighbors and the price of pork chops.
Now men have the wrong angle on this subject, and if they realized what was good for them, instead of trying to keep their wives locked up in the house all the time and objecting to their belonging to clubs and having their little games of bridge they would encourage them in it. For it would be money in their pockets and peace and happiness in their homes.
To begin with, it would save husbands a lot of doctor's bills for their wives to get around a little. Half of the neurotic women who are being treated for mysterious ailments are just simply bored.
They have no interest outside of their homes, meet few strangers, get no new ideas and they get so fed up on doing the same dull, monotonous round of chores, day after day and year after year, that they devise symptoms just to get something they can get a kick out of.
And, furthermore, the wife who belongs to clubs makes many friends who are valuable assets to her husband and children in a business and social way.
Still the idea prevails among old fashioned husbands that there is something meritorious in a woman being a stay-at-home and never going places or seeing things and having no conversational range beyond the children and the next door neighbors and the price of pork chops.
Now men have the wrong angle on this subject, and if they realized what was good for them, instead of trying to keep their wives locked up in the house all the time and objecting to their belonging to clubs and having their little games of bridge they would encourage them in it. For it would be money in their pockets and peace and happiness in their homes.
To begin with, it would save husbands a lot of doctor's bills for their wives to get around a little. Half of the neurotic women who are being treated for mysterious ailments are just simply bored.
They have no interest outside of their homes, meet few strangers, get no new ideas and they get so fed up on doing the same dull, monotonous round of chores, day after day and year after year, that they devise symptoms just to get something they can get a kick out of.
And, furthermore, the wife who belongs to clubs makes many friends who are valuable assets to her husband and children in a business and social way.
16 comments:
Such an interesting article. Jeez leave the gal alone, a game of bridge a week thats not bad at all. Its so crazy how times have changed in away I long for the simpler times but then again I am happy I dont have to live like a turtle in modern society just because I am a housewife.
lovely post
♥ Darla
I wish there was a way to know how this worked out for her...
I think this proves that while women of that era were still in a more subservient role, they *did* have brains and weren't docile or simpering. I'm looking forward to reading more of these!
So interesting! Poor woman I hope she got to keep her bridge!
AAAaaaaAAAAA-men!
(Is that who Dorothy Dix is? I always get her confused with Dorothea Dix, the Civil War nurse.)
This was so interesting!
It's funny how she says she still is young and wants to enjoy it and that only included bridge once a week! What we expect now for fun?!
I am definitely looking forward to more.
LPM
Thanks for sharing this!
So interesting! I'm just fascinated at Dorothy Dix's life span. She was born when the Civil War started and died at the beginning of the 50's. Think about all of the change she had seen in her lifetime! Her life spanned across the most change we've ever seen! It just boggles my mind!
As a housewife who feels like I am always shut up in the house (hence why we spend the money going out for coffee nearly every day, even though we have several coffee makers in the house) I feel for this woman. (We just moved to a new city where I know no one, so it's been slow moving on the friend front!).
I love this....where did you find her columns?
What great fun to look into the minds of 1940's women. thanks
I find Dorothy Dix's advice a little, well, patronizing maybe? Nothing at all about how INDIGNANT WIFE deserves a little leisure time --- it's all about how the husband can benefit economically from his wife joining clubs, making valuable contacts, and NOT having to fork over cash for visits to the doctor for her "neuroses." Then again, maybe the columnist thought the only way she could get a man like that to listen would be to appeal to his wallet!
I'm glad y'all liked it! There are some fabulous letters/responses on every subject under the sun. We'll have some fun on Wednesdays. :)
Gingerella, wouldn't that be great? I guess we'll just have to make up the end of the story for ourselves... The writer definitely doesn't sound docile. She asserts her right to some independent fun.
Latter-Day Flapper, the two names are so close! I had to double check myself.
Ms. B, isn't it crazy? I have to remind myself she would've been in her 80s by the time she wrote this response. I wonder what she thought of the problems young women were writing to her with. They must have seemed a far cry from the issues she dealt with at that age herself.
Kalee, I know how hard it is in a new city. Takes a while to really rebuild a good network of friends... I found the columns doing a Google News search for '40s. They're pdfs of the newspaper columns, so still have to be transcribed. Neat stuff, though!
I found this letter to be both horrifying and sad. Horrifying to imagine that women lived like this, waiting on their husbands hand and foot, only having ONE outside pleasure -- and having to justify it, at that! And sad to imagine a lifetime of doing this. No wonder so many women became addicted to tranquilizers and alcohol.
Very interesting glimpse into the life of what we always deem as the 'happy housewife", can't wait till next Wednesday!
I don't think all women had to be so sub-servent to their husband. I know my grandmother and mother were well read and treated with respect. I think it depends on how intellegent the husbands is.
I agree with Mrs. Tailleur. My grandmothers would have their husbands' heads for batting practice if either of my grandfathers had tried that. I'm betting that husband was probably physically abusive and/or was having affairs.
She was much better than, say, Dear Abby!
Mary, I'm sure there were many women then - as now - living under the thumb of dominant men. And they had less of a chance to get out and make something of themselves then women do now. That is sad. It's interesting to me, though, that this particular writer in the '40s knows that the situation isn't okay. She has enough of a sense of her rights and liberties to feel "indignant" about her husband's demands. A sign of times that were a-changing, I think...
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