We turn from bridge and cigarets to the topic of children and chores in this Wednesday's Dorothy Dix column - first printed on August 15, 1940:
DEAR MISS DIX - We have one daughter 10 1/2 years old. Is she too young to be asked to do a few tasks around the home, particularly on Saturday and Sunday? I sometimes ask her to dry the dishes or put them in the cupboard, but she is never willing to do it, and after I have asked her maybe three times her father interferes and tells me to let her play and for me to do my own work. What do you think about this?
MRS D.
Answer - Every child by the time it is 5 years old should have some definite task to do in the household for which it is held responsible and which it should be taught to do as part of its daily routine.
This not only inculcates habits of industry in the child, but teaches it responsibility and makes it feel that it is a cog in the domestic machine that keeps it running.
You certainly have failed in your duty as a mother if you have not given your 10 1/2-year-old daughter her regular household chores and taught her to do them as part of the homemaking, that she performs cheerfully as her contribution to the family good.
A girl of that age should be an efficient little housekeeper who could pinch-hit for mother in any emergency. In fact, many girls are, and I still remember with pleasure a most delicious lunch that I once ate that was cooked and served entirely by my hostess' 11-year-old daughter.
A woman makes a great mistake who does not make her children, sons as well as daughters, help her with her housework if she can not afford servants. No sight is more pitiful than an overworked, tired mother slaving to take care of a houseful of husky sons and daughters who have to play athletic games in order to get exercise.
But the worst part of your problem is your husband interfering in your management. There can be no discipline in a family where the parents do not do teamwork. And, heaven knows, in these days fathers and mothers need to stand together against their obstreperous children.
8 comments:
Ten and a half and she's never been asked to do chores?? (And it sounds like Dad was raised by the same kind of mother, if he thinks mothers are responsible for everything.)
Mine included: Setting the table, washing dishes, scooping the cat's litter-box, helping with laundry, sweeping whatever wasn't carpeted, and vacuuming. I still loathe vacuuming and have come to the conclusion that carpets are absolutely filthy; if I ever own my own home, I'm tearing out all the carpet. Ugh.
Wow, my blood pressure spiked on this one. There would have been one "dead" husband.
I love that Miss Dix says, "A woman makes a great mistake who does not make her children, sons as well as daughters, help her with her housework if she can not afford servants." See the sons part? YAY!
From time before I can even remember, my chores included watching the babies and changing them, cleaning the bathroom sink, helping in the kitchen, and dusting. By the time I was 10, I was cooking and cleaning, and doing yard work.
PS: I don't like how she puts most of the blame on the mother/wife though.
Wow, I don't like how she puts much of the blame on the mother either. With little information, it does seem like she has tried but the father interferes.
Ten and no chores?! It does seem an indication of times to come, the mostly spoiled, entitled generation of today, doesn't it?
LPM
I can remember my sisters and I - at about that age - jointly setting the table for supper each evening as well as for Sunday dinner. Our bedrooms had to be clean enough for "inspection" on Sunday evenings and we each dried dishes two nights a week. Not a heck of a lot, but we had a sense of earning our allowance --- and I'm sure every bit helps to a busy mom!
The dad in this picture sounds like a real turd. It's easy for me to say this as a non-parent, but I think it's incredibly important that children see their parents acting as a united front when it comes to all these kinds of things. I never suspected for a minute that my parents were not 100% together on every issue in the book. (That may not have been the case behind closed doors, but they never let it show.) So there was never any kind of let's-try-and-play-one-parent-off-the-other dynamic in the home I grew up in.
All that said, I kind of appreciate the fact that Miss Dix doesn't mince words with the writer. She's astonished that "Mrs. D." hasn't brought her daughter up to do chores and held firmer ground when it comes to her husband's thoughts on the matter.
Whew, the failed as a mother bit is a little harsh, but I'm in agreement with most of the comments that at 10 1/2 she should of certainly had regular chores. The idea that she even said no to her mother shocks me. No way would I have said no to my mother when she asked me to do something, especially before I was a teen!
It cracks me up that "these days" things were so tough! I'm with the rest of the commenters in that I', shocked she allowed her daughter to say no. I was never asked to help put dishes up, I was told that they needed to be put up and that it was my task. It definitely foreshadows times to come.
And, heaven knows, in these days fathers and mothers need to stand together against their obstreperous children.
I know! What was it about the children of 1940 that Miss Dix was so worried about? In comparison to the spoiled kiddos of 2009, they seem like positive saints!
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