Jitterbug's Book of the Month Club

He is always saying apologetically:

"I just can't find any time to read books!"

Yet ... if he spent (on average) only 30 minutes a day - before bedtime, or while traveling to or from work, or in other leisure moments - he could easily read every best-seller during the year, and a great deal more!

The Book of the Month Club used these words in 1940 to try and recruit new members to the fold. In the 14 years since its inception in 1926, some 250,000 American homes had become members of this club designed to promote the production of inexpensive editions of bestselling fiction and nonfiction. Once a month, members received word of the latest club selection. If they didn't respond by returning the slip printed, "Don't want it," the book would be sent - and billed - to them. Members were required to purchase a minimum of four books per year and could choose a free "book dividend" for every two books purchased.

I'm making another venture into the world of 1940s culture this month with a special new mission: Jitterbug's Book of the Month Club. These dark winter evenings and chilly temperatures have me spending more time indoors than I have in months - and just itching to curl up with a good book. Even the busiest of housewives would have found time occasionally to enjoy reading or a hobby like needlepoint. (Well, probably except those with small children!) The Manual actually allots time each day in the late afternoon for "Rest, Relaxation, Correspondence, Reading, Personal care, etc."

Would you like to join me in catching up on some of the bestsellers of the 1940s? (I promise --- I won't send you any of those dreaded return-this-or-else-you'll-be-billed-for-it slips.) I always feel so out of the loop when vintage radio programs make a joking reference to a current book or character and the audience roars. I want to be in on the joke! And many of these bestsellers were adapted for films that became classics in their own right. It might be fun to get to know what the screenwriters didn't have time to include about the backstory for our favorite silver screen heroes and heroines. You may have to hunt to find some of these titles. Bestsellers don't always stand the test of time and some libraries are unfortunately quick to discard anything with an aging cover these days. You may have to scour used bookstores, eBay, or the stacks at Amazon to find some of these titles. If you don't have any success, don't worry. You can drop in and drop out of Jitterbug's Book of the Month Club any time you like!

Without further ado, here's the selection for January 2010 --- The Family by Nina Fedorova (Boston: Little, Brown, 1940). The Family was the tenth bestselling piece of fiction in 1940 and won the Atlantic Fiction Contest that June. Here's a description from the publisher which sounds like it could've been plucked right from a dust jacket:

The Family is the story of a cheap boarding house in Tientsin, China. Granny, mother and the children are trying to make ends meet. They are White Russians. The olders remember days of wealth. The youngsters remember nothing but hand-to-mouth existence. The only assets are the family bonds of love and tradition. To this boarding house come an extraordinary assortment of mankind, a Bessarabian fortune teller, an English woman dipsomaniac, a Russian scientist with an urge to save the world, a Chinese scholar, Japanese spies, an American doughboy and his mistress, an abbess and two nuns and even - an English bulldog. There is much comedy in the story and its people but as it progresses, the family begin to show a depth of character and a resourcefulness which transfers the comedy into something deeper and more stirring. The laughter and oddities remain but under the surface one feels the pathos and the true tragedy of these wanderers. The story ends with the Japanese occupation of Tientsin.

Shall we convene the club by meeting one month from today to discuss the book? I'll call the meeting to order on Tuesday, January 5. Happy hunting!

"the time when almost everybody remembers almost everybody else"

Have you started your Christmas cards yet?

I've been reading a diary kept by an elderly woman during this era and, in 1941, she sent no less than 70 Christmas cards to her circle of family and friends. 70 Christmas cards! Just the thought makes my hand cramp up. I don't think I've ever sent or received more than 20 in my heyday. The author of the diary ordered her cards on November 8 from a woman selling them as a fundraiser for her church. The cards arrived on November 24, but it wasn't until December 5 - two days before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor - that the author of the diary began "writing" her Christmas cards.

I'm feeling inspired to send my own Christmas cards again this season. It's been years since I sent more than just a few. Feeling the pricks of vintage spirit, I picked up a couple boxes last weekend. A darling sky blue card featuring a tiny red cardinal perched on a snow-covered tree branch - with just a touch of glitter in the snow and on the cardinal's wing. "happy holidays to you and yours" it reads on the front cover. "Wishing you all the best this holiday season!" on the inside. (I like printed greetings that are fairly ambiguous like that --- leaves me room to write things like "Merry Christmas" and "Happy New Year" without looking redundant.)

But wait! Are store-bought Christmas cards proper form? I'd better check in with Lily Haxworth Wallace and The New American Etiquette (1941):

The greeting card industry is growing very rapidly and the increasing use of these cards signifies that for the commemoration of holidays and holy days they are correct... the biggest card day in the entire yearly cycle is Christmas, the time when almost everybody remembers almost everybody else.

It is, as is stated above, correct to send cards which are purchased ready-made at the stationer. It is also proper to have cards especially engraved for those occasions when you are going to send out many. It is not necessary that you confine yourself to black and white. Colors appropriate to the season can be used in both the tint of the paper and in the ink used for engraving and writing.

Phew! Okay, I think I'm covered. If you're planning on purchasing engraved Christmas cards this season, here's some advice on the greeting:

A married couple's cards would always read, "Mr. and Mrs. John Carter Jones wish you a very Merry Christmas." They should never be engraved, "A very Merry Christmas from Mrs. and Mrs. John Carter Jones." If the name comes last, it is in the place of a signature in which such titles are never proper.

She adds:

It is quite incorrect to write messages other than the greeting itself on these cards.

Hey, now. That's music to my ears. I could whip these things off in no time. And yet --- no hand-written messages at all? I wonder when things shifted and omitting a hand-written message - even just a line or two - became a faux pas. At least, that's how my mom brought us up. If you're going to send anything at all, be sure it includes a personal note. She used to enclose school pictures of my sisters and me to most of the folks on her Christmas card list. Let's face it. I don't often correspond with any of my family and friends in writing - except on birthdays or other special occasions. If I'm going to take the time to do this right once a year, I may as well include a note. If I start tomorrow (Friday, December 4) and I aim to have them all in the mail by Saturday, December 19 --- 20 cards in 15 days, that's just one or two cards per day. I can do that!

Incidentally, Mrs. Cornelius Beeckman, an etiquette columnist for the St. Petersburg Times, roundly disagreed. In 1947, she wrote:

Naturally, it's completely correct and most charming and personal it is too, for you to take your pen in hand and sign your name on your Christmas cards . . . and for good measure add a high-hearted message or news-greeting to the printed message on the card. There's something so welcoming about the handwriting of a friend that our hearts leap up when we behold it, and it seems to enfold the message in a warm, friendly handclasp.

On to the signature... Mrs. Beeckman advised her readers in 1940 that the signature - whether engraved, printed, or hand-written - should appear in one of the following forms:

Mary and John Holiday
Mary and John
The John Holidays

Ms. Wallace agrees that the wife's name quite properly appears before the husband's. She's usually the one signing the cards after all:

In signing greeting cards purchased at the store either the husband's or wife's name may come first, the one who signs usually writing the other's name before her own. If they are signed with the titles "Mr. and Mrs." those words, of course, go in that order.

Any children in the home? According to Mrs. Beeckman, they may also be included in the signature:

However when children's names are included in the signature, the father's name always comes first: John and Mary and Baby, or John and Mary and Johnnie, or The Holidays - John, Mary, Johnnie, Polly, and Bob.

An anonymous women's page columnist for the [St. Petersburg, Florida] Evening Independent offered some advice in 1943 for couples separated by the war:

If you are sending out Christmas cards and your husband is not at home on furlough at the time, but you know that he would like to his wishes extended along with yours, you might add a simple note to the greeting saying "John's wishes are included with mine, and we hope to see you when next he is home on furlough."

Dorothy Dix Says...

Rising divorce rates during the 1940s brought about a whole new set of questions for "agony aunts" like Dorothy Dix. Here's one divorce-related plea for advice in a column first printed on February 28, 1942. How does Ms. Dix do this week?

Dear Dorothy Dix: My husband was divorced before we ever met - so was I. He is one of the finest men on earth - good to me in every respect, except one. But what I can not stand, and that I know will eventually end in our separation, is that he has kept all the furniture that he and his former wife had, and insists upon my using it. Many of the things were wedding presents to her. So imagine my feelings when my friends ask me: “Where did you get these lovely linens?” Or: “Did you make this luncheon set?” And I have to tell them they were No. 1s. I admit they are very nice; but I would gladly trade them for a shabbily furnished apartment. No one could understand, unless they had been through it, what it is to be alone all day washing dishes that were never bought for them; polishing furniture and ironing clothes that were done many times by their predecessor. Once I mentioned that I would like to get some new linens, but my husband said we couldn’t afford them, and what was the use when we had all of this? I vowed to myself that I would never mention it to him again, but I know that sometime when I have spent a long day looking at her things I will leave. And if I do leave, I won’t leave as much as a hairpin to haunt another wife if he should remarry.

POLLYANNA’S STEPSISTER.

Answer - Of course you are making a mountain out of a mole hill, but inasmuch as you have your mound built so high that it shuts off your sunshine, your husband should be wise enough to level it down and cart the dirt away in the interest of peace and happiness. Consider that this is his second venture into matrimony, he has learned little about women if he has not found out that you can not argue with their prejudices and whims, and that they can make themselves just as miserable over a fancied grievance as a real one.

I think you will be foolish to break up your home and give up an otherwise good husband because of the association connected with a few chairs and tables, but I think your husband is still more foolish not to understand how you feel about the matter and send the offending articles to the auction room. It would be a cheap price to pay for keeping a home intact.

Iron Dry

It's Tuesday --- which means it's time to do my weekly ironing here at Casa Jitterbug. I've set up my ironing station in the kitchen and retrieved an armful of hangers from the bedroom closet. While the iron heats up to the "nylon" setting, I thought it'd be a nice time to pay a call on my readers...

The authors of The Manual advise their own readers to begin the week's ironing by about 10:00 on Tuesday morning - after giving each of the rooms in the house a "light cleaning." After lunch, it was back to the ironing board. By 2:00 p.m., the efficient and skillful housewife should have all her ironing put away. That seems awfully quick. A whole week's ironing for a family in just a few hours? Especially for a woman working with a clunkier iron than we have today. And with all the different kinds of linens and things that were considered "must-irons" back in the day! Well, I guess if you didn't have any interruptions - and with several years' experience - you could probably get the job done in a few hours.

I shudder to remember how I used to iron everything on-demand. I had to drag that board out several mornings a week as I never ironed anything in advance. I was convinced they'd just wrinkle up again while hanging in the closet --- boy, was I wrong. (It helps when you don't have your closet jammed full of clothes that you don't wear any longer or don't fit you any more. Ironed clothes need a little elbow room.) Those of you who've been following me for awhile will probably remember what an adjustment this was for me. Now I love dispatching a whole week's ironing in a single evening. Last winter, when I was just getting started with the weekly ironing, I posted some general tips on ironing from The Manual. America's Housekeeping Book (1945) also gives detailed instructions on how to iron various kinds of wearing apparel or linens. Maybe it's time for me to check in with this vintage advice. How does my technique stand up? How 'bout yours?

Flatwork

1. Table Cloths: Fold selvedge to selvedge, right side out. Iron first on one side, then on the other. Fold again, lengthwise. Iron again on both sides. Fold to put away.

I have to admit I've never ironed any tablecloths. Of course, I only own two - an antique formal cloth that's never seen the light of day in my household and a floral one that dates to the early '40s and which I'm terrified even to launder. It only gets spot cleaned and shaken clean of crumbs once a week. One of these days I'll brave up...

2. Sheets: If you wish to be especially careful, iron as for tablecloths. Or iron 4 thicknesses at once: fold hem to hem, then fold in half, bringing hem side to fold. Iron first on plain side, then on hem side.

Check! Though I'm not always sure that I iron my sheets "right side out." I'll double-check them tonight.

3. Embroidered Pieces: Place heavy padding such as a folded bath towel on board or roll. Place the right side of the embroidery on the padding. Iron flat and perfectly dry.

Haven't had the occasion to iron any embroidered pieces lately. Do I even own any embroidered pieces?

4. Round Doilies: Iron from center toward outside edge. Keep turning the doily. Iron in the direction of the warp and filling yarns, not diagonally across them, or the doily will lose its shape.

Now this tip would have come in very handy when women kept as many doilies around the house as we do remote controls. I don't own any doilies, but I'd love to crochet a chair set one of these days for my club chair in the living room. I'll have to keep this tip in mind.

Curtains

1. Straight: Iron selvedge edges first. 2. Ruffled: Iron ruffles first... Iron a few inches at a time; finish edge first, then nose iron into gathers... After ruffles are finished, iron the body of the curtain, starting at the top hem and ironing downward. Avoid stretching, and iron in the direction of the yarns.

My only window coverings are blinds. I'm planning to amend this as I do some redecorating over the next several months, but in the meantime... My apartment sounds pathetic, doesn't it? Not a linen in sight!

Wearing Apparel

1. Dresses and Blouses: Iron in this order: trimmings, sleeves, back, front, collar. Double thicknesses such as hems, collars and cuffs should be ironed first on the wrong side, then on the right. A sleeve board is helpful auxiliary equipment. If material is dark in color, use a pressing cloth when ironing on the right side.

I'm definitely catching sleeves first these days, but I haven't saved collars for last - and haven't paid any attention to which side of the collar gets ironed first. I always iron dark-colored things wrong side out.

2. Men's Soft Shirts: (a) Collar: Iron on wrong side, then right side until perfectly dry, pulling taut and working from points in. Iron neckband completely dry. Shape collar by hand, iron edge of crease. (b) Yoke: Fold flat and iron dry. Iron armhole seams dry. (c) Cuffs and Sleeves: Iron cuffs same as collar. Nose iron up into gathers. Straighten sleeves from underarm seam; iron on both sides. Iron underarm seam dry. (d) Back and Front: Iron back first, then buttonhole side of front, then button side of front. Iron both sides of front pleat, holding it taut to prevent wrinkles.

There aren't any men in residence here, so I don't have any men's shirts to lavish this kind of attention on. I'm a little offended, though, that women's blouses just got junked in with the very brief instructions for ironing dresses! The authors of The Manual certainly had men's shirts down to a science.

3. Men's Washable Suits: (a) Iron linen suits while very damp; seersucker suits when slightly damp, gently stretching to original measurements. (b) Iron trouser pockets and waistband. (c) Place waistband of trousers over end of ironing board. Starting at fly, iron top of trousers. Remove from board. Place one trouser leg on board, straightening it from the "in-seam." (d) Press crease sharply for the entire length. Repeat, ironing second trouser leg. (e) Hang up to dry thoroughly. (f) Iron body of coat first, keeping lower edge in a straight line, and working from front to back and then to front again. (g) Iron sleeves, collar and lapels. (h) Iron shoulders on extra padding placed over the narrow end of the ironing board.

I guess the women who wore trousers would have to refer to these instructions, too. And I just finished ironing a pair myself! I'll have to check back in with these next week... All of this "iron dry" language reminds you how women used to dampen clothes before ironing them in these pre-steam iron days.

4. Pajamas: Iron like washable suits, above.

Shoot! We're supposed to be ironing our pajamas?

Trimmings, etc.

1. Smocking: Dry smocked sections with iron. Fluff up smocking with finger tips.

2. Pleats: (a) Iron hem of skirt first. (b) Pin pleats to pad or ironing board from under side of hem, using rust-proof pins. Be careful not to catch fabric where pinpricks will show. (c) Iron from bottom to top.

3. Tatting: Press tatting, never iron across it. Fingerpress while still damp, then press dry.

4. Tucks: (a) Vertical: Pull taut and hold taut while ironing lengthwise. (b) Horizontal: Iron downward from top tuck toward bottom tuck. Iron each section dry before going on to the next, or puckering may result.

5. Slide Fasteners: Close before ironing or pressing.

6. Laces: (a) Place face down on soft pad. (b) Iron from center to outside edge. (c) Lace used as trimming should be ironed from the attached edge outward if it is sewed on flat. If ruffled, iron from outside edge inward. (d) Fragile or rare old lace must be given special care by experts. Museums can advise you where special treatment is given.

7. Fringe: (a) Do not iron. (b) Comb gently when wet.

Velvet and Pile Fabrics

1. Do not iron.

2. Steam small pieces as follows: Tie several thickness of cheesecloth over teakettle spout. When steam emerges, pass the velvet rapidly back and forth through steam, so the steam passes through the velvet from the wrong side to the right side.

3. Send velvet garment or large pieces of velvet or other pile fabrics to a good dry-cleaning establishment for cleaning and steaming.

I can safely say I don't currently own any velvet or any clothes or linens trimmed with smocking, tatting, or fringe. Lace - I don't think so. Slide fasteners - Are these the same as zippers? I do own some pleated skirts, so will have to have these instructions at the ready next time they show up in my ironing pile. I usually avoid the pleated areas completely, but if you're treating your clothes with an eye toward long-term wear, you can't avoid those pleats forever!

47 + 3 = 50

Phew! The scale is headed in the right direction again... I weighed in at 144 this morning which means I've officially lost 50 lbs. since adopting this vintage fitness and reducing plan last April.

50 lbs!!! I couldn't have imagined seven months ago actually being able to make that happen. I thought then I'd be thrilled - and content - just to trim off about 20 lbs. Just to make getting around a little bit easier, make the clothes fit a little bit more comfortably, make my face look a little less puffy. Well, "content" isn't good enough any more. I'm pleased as punch with the progress I've made (just this weekend, I realized my cheekbones are starting to be noticeable again!), but I've got a long road to go. 27 more lbs. to reach goal. I'd like to be comfortably in a size 8 --- right now I'm a snug 10. And I'd like to be off the blood pressure medication entirely --- I'm now taking just 1/4 of the dose I used to take. The holidays are bound to take a toll, but I'm determined to continue losing a little something over the next several weeks!

One of the radio programs I've been feasting on these days - in lieu of leftovers! - is The Goldbergs. Known as The Rise of the Goldbergs when it premiered in 1929, this popular daytime serial could be heard every weekday on NBC for some 20 years before it moved to television in 1949. The program follows the ever-dramatic lives of Molly and Jake Goldberg, a Jewish couple living in the Bronx, who move to a farm in Connecticut with their children, Sammy and Rosalie, in an effort to improve the family fortune. The Goldbergs was written by Gertrude Berg, who also starred as the Goldberg matriarch.

I adore this show! Can't get enough of it. Many episodes have disappeared - such was the fate with most soap operas - but there are a few long runs of surviving episodes that allow you to follow along with a handful of storylines. I've been listening these days to a storyline from the early spring of 1941. Sammy Goldberg has fallen in love with a girl named Sylvia Allison and, despite his mother's suspicions and doubt about the girl, has gone to Sylvia's home in the South where Mr. Allison has agreed to employ Sammy while the couple plan a wedding. Molly, Jake, and Rosalie have driven South to attend the wedding only to learn that Sammy has discovered Sylvia's shocking deceptions. Alas, she was apparently entangled with her sister's husband at one point! Will Molly be able to save Sammy from marrying Sylvia out of guilt? Is Sylvia emotionally unbalanced and likely to hurt herself or Sammy if she fears losing him? Can Molly heal the Allison family, too? Stay tuned for tomorrow's visit "with that lovable family," the Goldbergs...

One of the most enchanting things about The Goldbergs is the ads. Oxydol was sponsoring the program at this time and their promotional spots give you such insight into some of the trials and tribulations of washday I'd never really considered before. Laundry was a very public exercise in these days before automatic dryers. In 2009, we can do our laundry at any time of day and on any day of the week and nobody's the wiser. We can wear our robes (if that's all we've got left) while we do our laundry and can cheaply replace most anything that doesn't get clean enough. For most 1940s housewives, there was no such thing as privacy when it came to laundry. A women had to literally "air her dirty laundry" on Mondays by hanging her clean wash on clotheslines that were in view of all her neighbors and passersby. When it came to laundry, there were two measures of success that must have preyed on many a housewife's mind:

1. How early are you able to get that wash on the line?
You may never have been the first woman to get it out there, but it'd be awful to be the last! It must have been a special point of pride for a housewife who was able to hang her wash up to dry early - maybe before it was even time to begin preparing lunch for herself and any children at home. The Oxydol ads point up the idea that with this revolutionary new soap you won't need to boil your laundry or use one of those old fashioned scrub boards. Just a gentle wash in Oxydol, with a little extra attention to stains, and Mondays need no longer be your least favorite day of the week. With the wash dispatched by the time The Goldbergs came on the air at noon, you'd have time to "rest" --- "more time to enjoy yourself."

2. Is your laundry white enough?
Again, you'd probably never have the whitest wash in the neighborhood, but wouldn't your family be humiliated if there were greasy, yellow linens on your clothesline? Oxydol ads promised listeners "the kind of washes women turn to admire, even envy." Whoever the marketing folks behind these ads might have been, they'd clearly found a way to use feminine competitiveness to their advantage. There's nothing new under the sun when it comes to that. Women still pick each other apart more harshly then men do --- and I think we're always much more concerned with how other women will judge us on whatever accomplishments society currently deems "feminine" than we are about how men will judge us on those same accomplishments. That's still something the advertising business uses to drive profits.

A white wash was truly a challenge during the winter when women living in northern climates weren't able to hang the wash outdoors and take advantage of the bleaching effects of sunlight. Not to fear! Housewives who had to dry their laundry in basements or attics wouldn't have to worry about a "dingy and gray" wash if they'd only pick up a box of Oxydol on their next trip to the grocer's.

Here's something this liquid detergent user never thought about in relation to laundry soap. One of the points Oxydol uses to sell its product is the idea that you won't spend Mondays sneezing from the clouds of dust that your laundry soap raises every time you pour some out. For housewives who wanted to get to know this detergent a little better before investing in a box, Oxydol partnered with Apex, a washing machine manufacturer, to make a special offer during the spring of 1941. For a limited time, if you stopped by the showroom of your local Apex dealer, he would personally demonstrate the merits of Oxydol in one of those new "time-control" Apex washers.

All this talk of a laundry has got me all excited for tomorrow's wash. Almost makes me wish there were neighbors around to chat in awed whispers if I had the whitest wash on the street. You know I like a challenge!

Appetizing!

One of the things I've discovered after long years in Singledom is that people take it for granted that you're unable to cook or bake --- and on occasions such as Thanksgiving you are rarely asked to bring anything more than appetizers or something you can purchase.

To be honest, there have been years when this was a relief to me. Throughout my twenties - when we usually celebrated Thanksgiving with my older sister's in-laws - I was always in charge of pickles and olives. (Mind you, they had to be just the right kind of pickles and olives. For our family, no Thanksgiving table would be truly complete without a dish of sweet gherkins and pimento-stuffed green olives.) Since moving to the Southwest two years ago, I celebrate Thanksgivings with my younger sister's in-laws. And now I'm in charge of appetizers. Guess I'm moving up in the world!

This particular crowd doesn't eat all that much before dinner, so I'll keep it simple today. I'm planning one hot appetizer (artichoke parmesan spread with assorted crackers) and one cold appetizer (broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, and celery with hummus). On second thought, maybe they do eat a lot. Check out some of these much simpler appetizers from vintage Thanksgiving menus... Next year, I'm totally just bringing a can of fruit cocktail. (Just kidding!)

from the menu at Camp Beauregard, Louisiana (1940)
Fruit Cocktail

from an "all-Washington" menu, Mt. Adams Sun (1940)
Oyster Cocktail

from the St. Petersburg Times (November 23, 1940)
Shrimp Cocktail
Cheese
Paprika Pastry Stars

from the Army Thanksgiving menu (1941)
Shrimp Cocktail
Celery
Olives

from The New American Etiquette (1941)
Fruit Cocktail
Celery
Olives

from an "all-Florida" menu, Evening Independent (1942)
Oyster or Shrimp Cocktail with Toasted Wafers

from four menus in the St. Petersburg Times (November 16, 1942)
Cranberry Ice or Fruit Frappe

Chilled Sweet Cider

Shrimp Cocktail

Cider Cocktails

from the WAACs Thanksgiving menu (1942)
Fruit Cocktail
Celery
Olives
Pickles

from the Army Thanksgiving menu (1943)
Fruit Cup

from the OPA-suggested Thanksgiving menu (1944)
Fruit Cocktail

from the U.S. armed forces "master" Thanksgiving menu (1944)
Grapefruit Juice

from two menus in The American Woman's Cook Book (1945)
Grapefruit Baskets
Olives

Grapefruit

from the menu at the Naval Air Station, Arlington, Virginia (1945)
Fruit Cocktail

from the White House Thanksgiving menu (1946)
Celery and Olives

from the Army Thanksgiving menu (1946)
Stuffed Celery
Pickles
Olives

from The Evening Independent (November 26, 1947)
Fruit Cup

I'll be giving an extra word of thanks this Thanksgiving Day for the news I received from my surgeon's office yesterday afternoon: "cancer free."

A blessed and happy Thanksgiving Day to you all...

Dorothy Dix Says...

This week's topic: How to deal with a husband who might be seeing another woman? Dorothy Dix lights a fire under the suspicious wife in this column first printed on April 12, 1940. What do you think of her answer? Is Ms. Dix naive or is her advice sound?

Dear Miss Dix: I have a bad case of the jitters and here is the reason: An old flame of my husband's has come back to town, after having lived in the East for several years, and he has been seen out with her. The first time I heard of it I wasn't so terribly upset, as there was another gentleman with them, so I took it for granted that the other man was her escort. But since then my husband and the lady have been seen alone and I feel sure that he still thinks a great deal of her. She isn't a young woman any more, but they tell me she still retains much of her good looks. I must admit that the lady in question has always been a most wonderful character and has lived a fine, clean life. Yet I am simply bursting to let him know that he isn't putting anything over on me and that I know she is back in town and that they have been seen together two or three times. Shall I do this, or would you just let the affair ride?

WORRIED.

Answer - You are one of the women who explain why husbands have to lie to their wives, and why they have to do things secretly and undercover when they would much rather be frank and open about them.

A perfectly commonplace thing has happened that no doubt your husband would like to talk over with you, but your idiotic jealousy forces him to keep silent about it to save a scene. He can't say to you: "Mary Jane," or whatever her name is, "is in town and I met her on the street and took her to lunch, " because if he did you would raise the roof. Still less can he suggest your inviting her to dinner, so if he sees her at all he has to do it on the sly and make an affair of something that is nothing.

Can't you see how silly you are acting? You are burned up because this middle-aged woman who hasn't been home for years comes back to her old town. In heaven's name, what significance is there in that? Isn't it something that everybody in the world does? And if your husband and she were friends or even sweethearts years ago, are you naive enough to think that they are still in love, when each of them has married and had a different life and been happy and satisfied?

Don't you know that if she had designs on him she would have found some means to get in contact with him years ago? Don't you know that if he were still in love with her that he would have gone to see her? You couldn't have kept them apart. But neither one has existed for the other except just as a pleasant memory, as every man and woman have for their boy and girl sweethearts.

Haven't you intelligence enough to know that the sure cure for any youthful romance is to meet the beloved one after the lapse of years? For time does things to all of us that dispels the glamour that once encircled us.

My advice to you is to take counsel with your common sense instead of your jealousy. Tell your husband that you know his friend is in town. Call upon her and invite her to dinner.

Believe me, she has no designs upon him and you are torturing yourself needlessly.

Let Them Eat Cake!

I've been struggling with the same 2 lbs. for about a month now... Weighed in at 147 - again - this morning. Could this be the dreaded plateau? Or is it just that my body's been through the wringer during the last few days and I'm retaining water? All I know is that I weighed in at 143 before going into surgery on Thursday. (It was a great moment!) I'm slowly but surely taking up my exercises again. The walking feels good, but I'm being extra careful with any of the stretches, etc. that involve my chest or arms. I indulged in a little bit of "comfort eating" on Thursday evening and Friday, so I'm trying to rein that in as well. I'm not beating myself up about it. These 2 lbs. may disappear just as quickly as they reappeared.

Otherwise, I seem to be healing normally. I'm still taking the ibuprofen and using cold compresses to keep the swelling down, but there doesn't seem to be any bruising yet at the site of the incision. And I don't look lopsided either! I was a little worried at the news that this mass was 2 cm. in diameter --- my breasts aren't big enough these days for 2 cm. to go unnoticed.

Hmmm. I wonder if there's a fun way to segue from breast size to oven temperatures...

I've been baking a cake this morning for my father's birthday. My folks arrived in town yesterday afternoon for the winter. I'm not sure they're feeling very festive - it hasn't yet been two weeks since we lost Nana - but I know they're relieved to be here and we'd like to mark the occasion in some way. It's not a fancy cake. I'd love to have had the energy to try some vintage cake and icing recipes. It's just a Betty Crocker mix for a butter pecan cake with some coconut pecan frosting. From a can. Eek! Sacrilege. I am baking it in a chiffon cake pan, though, and that's a very '40s shape.

The thing I wanted to say was that I noticed that the times and temperatures given on the back of the cake mix box are right on the money when it comes to my oven. Now this definitely isn't the case for me when it comes to vintage recipes. My oven always seems to run too hot for recipes from my 1945 cookbook. I invariably have to set the temperature about 25 degrees less than the vintage recipes instruct me to and remove whatever I'm baking from the oven about five minutes ahead of time --- or risk ending up with something burnt and dried out. I used to think it was my oven, but now I'm thinking that the ovens of yesteryear just weren't as well insulated as modern ovens. So they had to bake things at higher temperatures and for longer periods of time. That's my theory, anyway. Have any of you who regularly bake using recipes from this era found this to be the case?

Some of the fine ingredients that go into this sensational Betty Crocker Cake Mix can't be bought in stores. So a woman simply couldn't put them in her own cake! What's more, in her own kitchen, a woman can't duplicate the scientific measuring and blending of ingredients that go into the mix. And, remember, this isn't just a cake mix, it's a Betty Crocker Cake Mix!

Actually, cake mixes aren't entirely un-vintage. General Mills introduced three Betty Crocker cake mixes in 1948: GingerCake, Devil's Food, and PartyCake. The PartyCake mix could be used to bake a white cake, yellow cake, or spice cake - depending on whether you added egg whites, whole eggs, or spices to the mix. Cake mixes cost 35 to 37 cents per box - which translates to just over $3 today. With faith that science and new technologies could solve all problems, the post-war era was prime for the success of such products as cake mixes. What you and I know with hindsight is that no cake mix on the market beats the taste and texture of a cake made from scratch, but 60 years ago there was great hope that the cake mix would someday be perfected and produce a cake even better than that.

Cake mix or no cake mix, I'll be enjoying a very small portion myself!

Just a Quick Note

Just a quick note this morning to let y'all know that yesterday's lumpectomy went as well as possible. Despite some serious trouble beforehand getting a good vein for the IV - my hand and wrist are covered in bandages and bruises - the surgery lasted just 20 minutes. My surgeon felt quite confident that the cyst is just that, but they're sending it along to the lab for a biopsy. She's hoping I'll have my results before Thanksgiving! Wouldn't that be something to be thankful for.

I'm feeling well this morning. The heaviness of the anesthesia has left me. My breast is a little pink and swollen and needs an occasional ice pack. I haven't had to take any of the narcotics, though. Nothing but ibuprofen. So all's well on the home front.

Thank you all for your good wishes and warm thoughts throughout this ordeal! I couldn't have made it through without your support...