Well, today has been a bit of a mixed bag.
It started off with a binge during the wee hours --- the first time I've cheated on my reducing missions. I went to bed with a grumbling tummy and tried to talk myself out of it. Tried to convince myself that I should think of that grumbly feeling as my body mining all those stored fat reserves for energy. That every minute of grumbling equaled one fat cell melting away. That strategy worked at bedtime, but not when I woke up at 1:00 and was still hungry. I'm not sure what possessed me. I was barely even awake. All I know is that I made my way to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Foiled! Everything in there these days is either healthy or needs a little work to be table-ready. I rummaged about in the cupboard and ate a few Cracked Pepper and Olive Oil Triscuits, then it was on to the freezer where - aha! - some Fudgsicles were hiding. Have you seen that TV spot on nicotine addiction where the guy's just typing away at his computer then these black claws come out of nowhere and drag him violently outdoors and only let go of him when he's taking that first puff? That was totally me.
240 calories later... and I felt terrible about it afterward. I knew I'd continue beating myself up over it unless I got a serious boost. See, that's the hitch that's quashed so many of my best intentions over the years. I'd cheat, beat myself up for lack of willpower, and give up. This time, it's got to be different. My nieces need me to get it right. I've got to approach this like the housekeeping. I wouldn't give up the housekeeping just because I'd forgotten to make the bed one morning or because some last minute social plans interrupted my routine. No way! Sometimes I just need to make some adjustments in my schedule for the week. Sometimes I need to take a mis-step as a hint that I need to work at that mission a bit longer before taking on a new one... So I'm going to take this morning's binge as a sign that I need to continue working at this 7:30 cut-off thing. It isn't quite successful yet. I still think it's a good idea. I need to get my feelings of hunger and cravings back into some sort of control again. They've gotten so out of whack during these years of giving in to every grumbling tummy.
I was worried about myself this morning, though. That cycle I mentioned before is so powerful and so subconscious. I was looking for a boost in self-esteem, so I stepped on the scale even though weigh-in day was still three days away. To my great surprise - and relief - I weighed in at 190! That's 2 pounds lost in 4 days --- and a total of 4 pounds in the 3 1/2 weeks since I started the vintage beauty missions. Boost received. And much needed after last Friday's disappointment.
So I forge ahead. One day at a time. One walk at a time. One 7:30 cut-off at a time. One I-will-not-stop-at-the-convenience-store-for-Cool-Ranch-Doritos at a time. One blog at a time. You keep me honest! Thank you, dear readers.
12 comments:
don't beat yourself up too much... it happens and the important thing is to keep on plugging.
Good luck!
Stay positive, these things happen. You are doing fantastic, and changing your whole lifestyle takes work.
Goodness Jitterbug, I think you must be the first person ever to temporarily fall off the diet train! Never mind, tomorrow is another day.
I am finding a cup of herbal tea last thing in my favourite vintage tea cup is a nice way to finish the day. It satisfies that need for something comforting in the evening. If you are not a herbal tea fan, the secret is to make them quite weak, and work your way up to find the strength you like.
I also find that keeping my hands busy stops me wanting to snack in the evening. Perhaps you could take up knitting, or embroidering elaborate table runners, or making dolls' clothes for your nieces?
All the best. I love visiting 1940 knowing I will find you faithfully soldiering on, and bravely sharing your triumphs and failures.
Kudos to you! Get back on track and focus on the positive. :)
I have been there myself. I find late night snack is so hard and went for the Wheatena ceral to try to get through last night. i know A bit of peatnutbutter on a spooon or peanut butter crackers is the way to go from going to diabetic classes for my husband. So try some protien at night if this hunger problem continues it will keep those key tones up longer. I look forward to your blog every day, thanks.
Yes, like everyone else said - Don't beat yourself up.
What Jeanne says is a good idea. A half of banana works, too. You need to sleep without tossing and turning or actually waking up because you are hungry.
Congratulations on the weight loss! Keep up the good work.
I'm so glad you aren't going to give up! I've been trying to avoid cravings binges lately and I find breakfast is a big one. When I do actually get really hungry, I have some jars of healthy finger food like almonds, dried fruits etc. I have a little 1/4 cup sized dish and I fill it up with those things-I try for a balance of sweet and high protein. I take it along to some sort of distracting task-it cures the hunger and by the time I finish it I'm doing something more interesting.
Those evening meals are tough!! I took a piece of your advice and started cutting off my munching at 8pm. I was SO digusted with myself one night when I came home at 9pm and ate four slices of pizza! But rather than beat myself up for days, I woke up, did an extra long work out, and carried on.
Sometimes that's all we can do!
I admire you so much!!! Keep your chin up! I agree with Jo about the tea. It's warm, calming and filling (just don't add sugar). Jeanne's right, too, about that dollop of peanut butter (just remember, a tbsp is about 100 calories). It works! You stick that dollop in your mouth, get back in bed, and let it slowly melt. You might fall back asleep before you finish it.
I think you guys may be on to something with the protein... Maybe I ought to make sure that my last nibble for the day (7:25 p.m.) is something with some protein to it. Cheese, nuts, milk, etc. Great ideas! My mom always drinks chamomile tea in the evening --- can't hurt to give it a try?
Thank you all for your positive encouragement. It helps so much. I'm trying to let the 2 lbs. gone - which I'm very psyched about! - outweigh the single incident.
Keep at it darling! We are rooting for ya :D
Thanks so much, Rebecca! It makes the weirdest, most wonderful difference knowing that there people checking in to see if I've stuck to my missions...
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